


What We Call A Relationship

by Current521



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: AU, Character Study, F/M, Fluff, abuse tw, happy ending kind of i swear, sam is a jerk and charlotte deserves better, there's a lot of cute stuff in here tbh, verbal and physical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22543087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Current521
Summary: Charlotte loves Sam, she does. Ted is just... Temporary. A distraction, a temporary way to feel better. But she'll go back to Sam every time, of course she will. Of course she will...
Relationships: Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 108
Kudos: 39





	1. What We Call A Friendship

It wasn’t the first time Charlotte was at Ted’s apartment; the first time had been some months before, a company dinner, with Paul and Bill and Melissa and Mr. and Mrs. Davidson. This time she was there alone, just her and Ted, and this time they were on the couch instead of at the dining table, and they were having vodka instead of wine.

He’d asked her after work. Just for coffee. Then they’d had coffee, and she hadn’t wanted to go home, so they’d ordered takeout. Then he’d brought out the vodka, and she’d declined, and he’d shrugged and poured a glass for himself. And for some reason, she’d taken a glass too, and now it was half empty, and she was smiling at him, even though they hadn’t talked for several minutes.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked when he saw her smiling.

She shrugged. “I was just thinking about how nice it’s been. Shame I have to leave soon.”   
“Why do you?” He smiled, curious. “Stay the night if you want.”   
“Ted… I’m a married woman.”

“I didn’t mean that.” He chuckled. “But if you did, I’m not opposed.”   
“I didn’t.” She finished her glass. “I don’t. You’re the one who’s been flirting.” It was a cheap grab at shifting the blame, and she suspected he recognised it as such.

“I have.” He nodded. “Absolutely. And as I said, not opposed.” He scooted closer to her on the couch, and Charlotte had to stop herself from moving away. “But you know, if your only objection is that you’re married… I can keep a secret.”

“It’s not the only reason. I love Sam. I don’t want anyone else.” She moved away, now. “You’re a good friend, Ted; don’t ruin it.”   
“Alright.” He leaned back on the couch, slightly away from her. “Tell me about Sam. You always just say he’s doing fine, but what is he  _ like _ ?”   
“He’s with the police,” Charlotte said, idly fidgeting with her glass and not looking at Ted.

“I know that.” Ted shook his head; she could see him in her peripheral. “I know that. I know that he’s with the police, I know that he’s married to you and has been for 12 years, and I know that you love him. But what kind of man is he?”   
“Almost 13. He’s… He’s a good man.” Charlotte put her glass down and twisted her hands in her lap instead. “He works hard. He cares about his job, he genuinely wants to do it. He likes helping people.”   
“What kind of husband is he?” Ted’s voice had softened a little bit. “What’s he like to you?”   
“He’s… He’s busy,” Charlotte admitted. “He’s not around as much as I would like. He’s a good man, he does good things, but… I sometimes wish I’d be more of a priority.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t complain to you.”

“No, you should.” Ted smiled. “Please.”

“Alright.” She smiled; she was easily charmed by Ted, and although she’d never act on it, she did relent too easily with him. “He’s uhh… God, there’s so much. I love him, I do, and we’re happy, but you know, it’s been years, there’s bound to be things that pop up.”   
“Of course.” Ted laughed. “Tell me. All the little habits that drive you crazy, all of that stuff. I wanna know my competition.” He winked.

“Ted!” She lightly hit his arm. “I told you I love him.”   
“I know, I’m kidding. I wanna be a good friend.”

After a few moments of silence, Charlotte spoke again. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t— I didn’t—”   
“Don’t worry about it.” Ted smiled. “Seriously, don’t. We’re friends, this is what friends do. Right?” He scooted closer and put an arm around her. “And you and I are just friends.”   
“Yeah.” Charlotte let herself lean a little bit into the embrace, and immediately felt guilty about it. Not guilty enough to move away. “Just like Sam and… I forget her name… That girl… Are just friends,” she added, noticing how bitter she sounded, not caring.

Ted laughed, but it was incredulous more than amused. “Charlotte, you’re telling me that Sam is cheating on you, and you still call him a good man?”

“He is, he’s a good man, he’s just… He just makes mistakes.” She sighed and leaned properly into Ted. “He’s just human.”

There was a kiss planted on the top of her head, and she decided to ignore it. “Just human is an excuse for soggy rice and forgetting to call when you’re home late. It’s not an excuse to cheat, least of all on someone as beautiful as you.”

Charlotte scoffed. “Tell that to Sam.”   
“Maybe I will.” He kissed her head again. “Maybe I’ll just show him what he’s missing out on.”

“Ted, stop.” She leaned away. “I love Sam. I don’t wanna sink to his level.”   
“You won’t.” Ted reached out a hand. “Take my hand.”   
“Why?”   
“Just— Just do it, Charlotte.”

Something in his voice made her reach out and take his hand. “What are you—”   
“Look at this!” Ted had pushed the edge of her sleeve back, exposing her wrist. “Those are bruises. How’d you get those.”   
“I’m going home.” Charlotte yanked her hand back, more violently than necessary.

Ted let her go. “You’re too drunk to drive,” he said, softly. “Get a cab.”   
“I will. Goodbye Ted.”   
“See you tomorrow.”   
He didn’t walk her to the door, didn’t try to stop her, didn’t say anything. Charlotte was grateful, but some part of her wished he did.

Then again, some part of her wished she’d kissed him, and that was stupid, she was married, she was with Sam, she loved Sam, she did. She didn’t want Ted.


	2. What We Call A Husband

Sam wasn't home when she got back. It wasn't exactly unusual, but she'd still hoped; she deserved a husband who was there, she decided.

She ate her words half an hour later when he came home. He was in uniform. "Charlotte? Is there food on the table?"

"No, sorry." She went to the kitchen to start getting food ready, but she also knew that he was gonna get angry no matter what. "I'll be right there, sorry, I haven't been home."

"Where have you been?" Sam had followed her to the kitchen and was pulling her into a hug. He smelled like beer, and it wasn't very charming, but he kissed her cheek. "You smell like alcohol."

"So do you." She turned to give him a proper kiss. "I was out with someone from work, so I had a drink." It wasn't a lie, technically, but she still felt bad, and suddenly remembered Ted's lips in her hair.

"Hmm." Sam let her go. "Well, get food ready, I'm hungry."

"Of course."

Ten minutes later, food was on the table, and they ate together in silence. They cleared away in silence, and Charlotte began doing the dishes.

That's when Sam spoke. "You smell like cologne," he said. "Not mine. Are you cheating on me?"

She laughed. "Of course not, Sam, sweetheart. As I said, I was out with someone from work, he gave me a hug."

"Aha." Sam walked over to her. "Just a hug?"

"Yes, just a hug." Charlotte put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, and turned to look at him. "He's my friend." She got on her toes to kiss Sam, but never made it there.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her away, violently. She cried out, but he ignored her. "Friend, huh? I know what you're like with friends." He raised a hand.

"Sam! Sam, sweetheart, I love you, I—"

"That's right." He brought his hand down, slapping her arm, hard.

"Sam!" Charlotte could feel tears stinging in her eyes, stinging and pain in her arm where he'd hit her. It was going to bruise. "Sam, sweetheart, please, I love you, I would never do anything like that, please—"

"Charlotte, I— I'm sorry." All the anger was gone from Sam's face, replaced with regret. "I didn't mean it, I would never do anything to hurt you, I— It must be because I'm drunk." He held out his arms. "Forgive me."

"Oh Sam." She knew some of it was a lie, but not the apology. The apology was real. Sam was a good man. "I love you." She hugged him.

"I love you too, Charlotte." Sam kissed her head, and she couldn't help but be reminded of Ted doing the same thing, not two hours prior. "It's late. Let's go to bed."

"Good idea." Charlotte stepped out of the embrace. "We both have work in the morning."

"Yeah." Sam kissed her. "Let's just forget this ever happened, okay?"

"Of course." She smiled and went to get ready for bed.

The following day, Charlotte cornered Ted in the break room. "Hey."

"Hey." He smiled. "I'll put enough coffee on for you too, don't worry."

"Thanks uhh… Are you doing anything today? After work?" She grabbed a mug from the cabinet.

"No I'm not. Why?" He leaned against the counter, looking at her. "Did you wanna do anything?"

"Can I come over? Sam and I had a fight last night, and I'd really like to stay out a little bit. I don't have that many friends so…"

"Sure." He reached out to pat her arm, and she winced. "Sorry." He lowered his voice. "Did he hit you?"

She nodded, thinking about Sam's accusations and the perfume in her bag. "I'll tell you later, alright." She poured her coffee and left.

Later came, and Ted and Charlotte drove in separate cars back to his apartment. He waited for her in the lot.

"What happened?" he asked when they came inside.

She smiled. Smiling was easy. "Just uhh… He came home about half an hour after me, and I didn't have food ready, so he was in a bad mood. And then he noticed that I smelled like alcohol and he did too, but then… He pointed out that I smelled like cologne, not his, and he accused me of cheating on him and…" She sobbed, then pulled herself together. "He got angry about that. I told him I wasn't, I told him that I'd just been out with a friend, but I didn't tell him exactly what happened, and I didn't tell him we'd been here and—"

"Ssh." Ted pulled her into a hug. "You look like you need a break. Just go sit on the couch, I'll make us some coffee, yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded and freed herself. "Thanks Ted."

"Sure." He kissed her forehead. "Go sit down."

So she did. Ted came in a few minutes later and sat next to her, silently handing her some coffee.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few minutes of sipping coffee in silence. "I know it's none of your concern and I know you're not really my friend but—"

"I am your friend." Ted smiled. "I mean, yeah, I am trying to fuck you, but that doesn't mean I'm not your friend. It's fine."

“Thanks.” She smiled back at him. She probably shouldn’t, after he’d admitted to trying to sleep with her, but he was her friend. “I need a friend.”   
“Well, here I am!” Ted threw out his arms. “A friend.”   
She laughed at him. “A friend,” she agreed. She put her coffee mug down. “I uhh… I’ve never told anyone that Sam has hit me before.”   
“Really?” He leaned back, looking at her. “How bad is it?”   
“It’s…” She sighed. “I’ll show you.” She stood up and took her sweater off; she was wearing a slip underneath, so she wasn’t too bothered, but she still shivered. Not that Ted’s living room was cold, she was just too aware of her arms and shoulders.

Ted inhaled sharply. “Wow.” He whistled. “I didn’t realise how easily you bruise.”

“I don’t.” Charlotte hugged her sweater to her chest. “Sam is a strong man.”

“Listen, Charlotte… Charlotte.” Ted stood up in front of her, putting his hands lightly on her shoulders. “That’s abuse. I don’t care how much you love him or whatever, that’s abuse.”   
“It’s fine.” She stepped away. “I’m fine.” She put her sweater back on. “It doesn’t hurt that much.”   
“You’re lying.” Ted dropped his hands. “I saw you flinch earlier. And you said yourself, you don’t bruise easy. I barely touched you. He’s not just hitting you, he’s  _ beating _ you.”   
“Ted, shut up.” Charlotte stepped closer and put her arms around him. “I don’t wanna hear it. I love Sam, he’s my husband, I want to stay with him. It’s fine.”   
“Alright.” He put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. “I won’t agree with you, but I will drop the subject if you want.”

“Thanks.” Charlotte stepped halfway out of his embrace. “Thanks, I… I appreciate it.” She smiled up at him. There were things she shouldn’t do, and those things certainly included keeping her hands on his hips and keeping her head tilted up to smile at him. And it definitely included letting him kiss her, but he leaned down, and she didn’t move away.

He stopped just short of their lips touching. “You alright with this?” he asked, half a whisper. She could almost feel his lips moving.

She should say no. She should move away. She did neither of those things. “Yeah.”   
“Good.” A smiled ghosted Ted’s lips, but then he kissed her, and she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Stepped closer to him, slid her hands up his back. Let him tangle his hands in her hair, let him tilt her head up, let him kiss her.

After what felt like hours, she broke the kiss. “I… I should go.” She was breathless, and made no move to step away.

Ted chuckled softly. “We were just getting somewhere.” He kissed her again, quickly. “Just stay. We have time.”

Charlotte sighed and rested her head against his chest. “We have time,” she repeated. She thought about the perfume in her bag and the text from Sam that he wouldn’t be home until the morning, and she sighed again. “You’re right. Sam won’t be home ‘til morning.”   
“So you can stay the night?” Ted stepped back to look at her. “I want you to stay the night.”   
“I’ll stay… A while.” She laughed. “Maybe not all night. But for now.”   
“Nice.” Ted kissed her again. “I was gonna offer to cook for you, but honestly, I have better uses for my time with you. So if you don’t mind, we’ll just order out.”   
“Sounds good to me.” There were so many things that Charlotte had done already that she shouldn’t have, so the next thing was easier. The next thing was kissing him again, sliding her hands under his shirt. The next thing was nodding when he grinned and asked if she wanted to go to bed. The next thing was letting him carry her to the bedroom. The next thing was to unbutton his shirt and letting him take off her sweater.

The next thing was having sex with him, and she did, and she enjoyed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam? Terrible, asshole, no good. Charlotte? Deserves better


	3. What We Call Cheating

She didn’t stay the night, but she did stay too long. She stayed in bed with Ted after they’d had sex, talking softly. She considered running out, but the urge to stay was stronger. Ted giving her little kisses and meaningless compliments was stronger. She stayed to eat shitty takeout with him, sitting on the couch, half dressed and watching Real Housewives. She stayed when he traced the bruises on her arm with gentle, featherlight fingers, talking about how shitty Sam was, and she didn’t argue, except to say that her cheating made her a bad wife, too. She let Ted think he’d convinced her when he said she was still loads better than Sam. And then she had sex with him again, and then more talking in bed.

They didn’t have any alcohol, so she drove herself home, eventually. It was well past midnight by then, and she wanted to stay, but she didn’t want to risk Sam coming home to an empty bed. She also didn’t want to risk him asking where she’d been, so she took a shower before going to bed. That, too, made her feel guilty; almost more than the sex itself had. Not guilty enough to regret it, though, as she fell asleep still remembering how Ted’s lips felt against hers, and how his hands felt brushing lightly over her arms.

Sam was nice that morning, much nicer than usual. He made her breakfast and coffee. “Good morning baby,” he said when she came out in the kitchen. He went to kiss her. “I made you breakfast.”   
“Oh.” Charlotte blinked. “Thank you.” She smiled. “That’s really nice of you.” She sat down and began eating. “I hope you got some sleep.”   
“A little bit.” Sam smiled. “It’s been pretty busy down at the precinct, I have to go in early today as well. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to catch a nap during my lunch break.” He leaned down to kiss her. “I’ll be off. I love you.”   
“I love you too, Sam.” She smiled. “Stay safe.”   
“I’ll do my best.” He waved when he left.

Charlotte stopped eating as soon as he’d left. She suddenly felt sick. Sam had been working hard all night, and she’d been with Ted. Cheating on him. Sam had made her breakfast, had taken care to make her feel loved, and she’d cheated on him.

She called Mr. Davidson and said she was sick, then went back to bed. She couldn’t sleep. Sam had done so much good for her, and she’d done the unforgivable.

Eventually she got up and started cleaning. Tidying the apartment. Cooking, so that she’d have leftovers to quickly reheat on those days she came home only minutes before Sam.

Ted texted her around noon, when he’d be on his lunch break.  _ You okay? _

She looked at the text for a moment. She should just tell him she was sick. But then again, Ted was the only person she could tell about this.  _ Sam deserves better. _

_ Charlotte, do me a favour and take your sweater off, go look in a mirror. Tell me you don’t. _

She didn’t do what he asked, because she knew what it looked like.  _ I know, _ she wrote instead.

_ I’ll come pick you up after work if you want to talk. _

_ I wanna be home when Sam comes home. _ She put her phone away. She shouldn’t be seeing Ted. Sam deserved better.

Maybe she did too, but Sam definitely did.

Sam went away for the weekend, and Charlotte somehow ended up at Ted’s door around two in the morning the first night.

He opened after she knocked just once, wearing sweatpants and no shirt. “Hey Charlotte.”   
“Hi Ted.” She wasn’t quite meeting his eye. “Can I come in.”   
“Sure.” He stepped aside and let her. “What’s up?”   
“Sam’s out of town, I didn’t like being alone.” She hung up her jacket and kicked off her shoes. “I don’t know why I’m here.”   
“I don’t either.” Ted looked at her for a few seconds. “Look, Charlotte, we fucked, and then you called in sick the next day, and didn’t look me in the eye for two days, now you show up at my door at 2am? What the fuck are you doing?”   
“I don’t know, I’m sorry, I just—” She stopped herself with a sharp intake of breath. “I didn’t regret what we did. I was — I am — ashamed of it, and I feel bad about it, I feel bad for Sam, but I don’t regret it and… And I don’t think I’d mind doing it again.” Another sharp intake of breath, but this time, she’d made her point.

Ted shrugged. “Alright.” He pulled her into a kiss, but let go too quickly. “Stay the night this time. We’re gonna have to talk, but it’s late and I’m horny.”   
“I will.” She leaned up to kiss him and let him carry her to the bedroom.

Waking up in Ted’s bed was unusual and initially disorienting, but it was a pleasant experience. He was still asleep, half wrapped around her, so she stayed still and watched him. There wasn’t anywhere she had to be, it was Saturday, Sam wouldn’t be home until Sunday evening, so she could stay. And she wanted to, even if she shouldn’t. She wanted Ted, even if she shouldn’t, even if she knew she had to make this the last time, she wanted to take her time. Just this once.

Eventually, though, she grew bored and hungry, so she leaned over to kiss Ted on the cheek. “Ted? Are you awake?” She kissed him again.

He blinked a few times and looked at her. “Hey,” he said, smiling softly. Then he kissed her. “You’re still here.”

“You asked me to stay.” Charlotte smiled. “And I wanted to. Sam won’t be home until tomorrow evening, so…”   
“So you can stay tonight as well?” Ted raised an eyebrow. “Don’t answer that. Breakfast?”

“That would be nice.” Charlotte got out of bed and began getting dressed, Ted following. “Very nice.”   
They chatted a little more while making toast and coffee, then sat down. “Alright,” Ted said. “We need to talk.”   
“What about?” Charlotte stirred her coffee and didn’t look at him.

“Us.” Ted was looking at her, she thought, but she didn’t look up. “Is this a one-off — well, two-off now, I guess — thing? Is it a regular thing? I don’t care, I just need to know.”   
“I don’t know.” She glanced up at him. “It should be the last time, but I don’t have other friends, not people I can talk with about Sam, so I’m gonna keep coming back here.”   
“That’s fine, I already told you, we’re friends.” Ted reached over the table to take her hand. “I just need to know if I can fuck you again, and if I can’t, that’s fine.”   
“Ted!” Charlotte drew her hand back. “I don’t know! No. I’m married, I love Sam, I don’t want anyone else, I don’t—”   
“Sam is a scumbag who isn’t worth the dirt under my shoe.” Ted leaned back, staring at her. “You could do so much better than that jerk, but that’s none of my concern right now. You keep saying you love Sam, but come on, if you really did, you wouldn’t be fucking me. You wouldn’t be so fucking desparate.”   
“I’m leaving.” Charlotte put her cup down and got up. There was still some part of her that wanted to stay, but she was insulted and hurt. “I don’t have to put up with this.”   
“Yet somehow you put up with so much worse from Sam.” Ted made no move to get up. “You’re welcome to just take a walk and come back. I’ll be here all day, I don’t have plans.”   
“Fine.” Charlotte went to get her shoes and coat.

She did just walk around for a bit. She should just get in her car and drive home, but something told her that she’d just drive back when she’d calmed down, and well. She would give Ted a win either way, but there was no reason to waste gas on it.

It took her twenty minutes to calm down. Then she went back and knocked.

Ted smiled. “Okay, I didn’t think you’d actually be back.” He stepped aside to let her in.

She shrugged and hung up her jacket. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” she said. “I’m here because I need a friend. Can you be that?”

“Sure. Coffee?” He walked to the kitchen without waiting for her reply.

Charlotte followed. “Yeah, thanks.” She leaned against the counter and watched him. She shouldn’t be here. She’d always found Ted charming, but always with the understanding that she wouldn’t act on it. Now she had, and as much as she wanted to say she never would again, she knew that wasn’t the truth.

Ted handed her a mug of coffee and leaned against the counter next to her. “I already put sugar in,” he said, smiling. “What’s up?”

“I’m not sure.” She shrugged. “I shouldn’t be here, but here I am. Mostly that.”   
“Fair.” Ted downed half his coffee in one go. “Are we gonna fuck again?”   
“Maybe.” She didn’t want to admit that the real answer was yes. “Do you think of nothing else?”   
“I just wanna know.” He chuckled. “But alright, I’ll tell you what else I’m thinking, if you want.”   
“I do.”

“I’m thinking about how many new bruises I saw on you last night and this morning, despite it only being three days since I saw you last.” He downed the rest of his coffee and put the mug down. “And I’m thinking about calling the police on your husband, but since he’s with the police, I honestly can’t decide if it’s worth it.”

“It isn’t.” Charlotte shook her head. “Please don’t. I don’t— It’s fine. Don’t call the police.”   
“Alright.” Ted wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. She was still holding her coffee, but she leaned in anyway. “I won’t then. But come on Charlotte, you have to admit that it’s abusive.”   
“It’s not good.” She took a deep breath. “I know it’s not good. But he’s a good man, he just… He has problems. He’s drunk. He needs help, not police. It would ruin him.”   
“Good riddance.” Ted kissed her hair. “I know you don’t wanna hear that, but I had to say it. Whatever you say about him being a good man, he’s a drunk who beats his wife. Am I wrong?” Charlotte didn’t answer. “I thought so. Maybe he needs help, but will he get help? If you go and say to him, hey, I think you need some therapy or alcoholics anonymous, would he go?”   
“No, probably not,” Charlotte admitted. “Have you made your point?”   
“Will you agree with me?”   
“No.”   
“Then no.” He pulled her up to kiss her. “You have three choices, Charlotte; admit that I’m right and say you’ll work on things with Sam, whether that means a restraining order or getting him help, fuck me, or leave.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She kissed him. “In the kitchen?”   
“No, come on.” He took both her hands and pulled her to the bedroom, stopping every few seconds for a small kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ted is right. That is all


	4. What We Call An Affair

Charlotte got out of bed as soon as they were done. “Are you leaving?” Ted asked.

“No, I’m just hungry.” She smiled. “We haven’t had lunch. I’m gonna go cook.”

“No, come on.” Ted reached out a hand. “Come on, lay down with me. I’ll order some takeout, come on, just lay down.”   
Charlotte sighed. “Alright Ted.” She laid back down. “You better order quickly, I mean it, I’m starving.”   
“Since when did you get so bossy?” He kissed her. “It looks good on you.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Stop flirting.”   
“It’s the truth!” He laughed and kissed her again. “Besides, I don’t need to flirt, you’re naked in my bed, I think I’m doing pretty okay.” Another kiss. “But flirting is fun.”   
“Alright Ted.” She rolled her eyes, kissed him, and got up again. “I need a cigarette.”

“You can smoke inside.”   
“I don’t want to.” She grabbed her skirt and sweater, not bothering with a full outfit, and went to the tiny balcony off of Ted’s living room. She’d grabbed her purse on the way out, so she found a cigarette and a lighter. Lit a cigarette, took a drag. She shouldn’t be there, certainly shouldn’t be staying, but well. She wanted to stay. And she couldn’t decide if cheating once or cheating many times was worse, but it was bad either way, so she might as well.

Ted came out when she was halfway through her cigarette. “Hey.”   
“Hey.” She smiled.

“I ordered food.” He wrapped both arms around her from behind. “How long are you staying?”   
“Tomorrow morning.” She leaned her head against his cheek. “Unless we fight again.”   
“Let’s just not.” He kissed the back of her neck. “It’s cold, come inside.”   
“You’re not wearing a shirt,” she pointed out. “I’m fine. I’ll come in when I’m done.”

“Alright.” He kissed her neck again and went back inside.

When she came in, a few minutes later, their takeout had arrived. Ted had laid it all out on the coffee table and was sitting on the couch. “I have summoned a feast.”   
She laughed and shook her head. “Thanks.” She sat next to him and reached for a box of spring rolls.

There was definitely an argument to be made for going home, Charlotte thought as she and Ted cooked dinner together that night. Say goodbye and never come back, only talk to Ted in the office. And every time she’d almost convinced herself that she was gonna do that, he did something charming or stupid or endearing, like hip checked her out of the way, or kissed her, or made a bad joke or a flirtatious quip. It was the longest she’d managed to exist without thinking about Sam on more than a surface level, and it was nice.

“You look happy,” Ted said at some point.   
She shrugged. “I’m always worrying about Sam, but I haven’t really thought about it today. It probably makes me a bad wife, but I’m already a bad wife for being here.”   
“Aha.” Ted nodded. “Sure, sure. Definitely. Why are you a wife at all?”

“Because I’m married?” She raised an eyebrow. “Why else?”

“I mean, why are you  _ still _ married.” He put food on the table and sat. “Why haven’t you gotten a divorce yet?”   
“I love Sam.” Charlotte sat down across from him. “I don’t want to leave him, I want to make things work with him. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I want to stay with him forever.” Ted shook his head at her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, you’ve never been married.”   
“You’ve only known me since I was 25, you don’t technically know that.” Ted grinned. “But no, I haven’t been married. But I do know a thing or two about people, and a person who finds it appropriate to beat his wife is not a person who deserves a wife.”

“Don’t.” Charlotte pushed her food around her plate. “If you can’t accept that this is the way it is, I don’t want to be here.”   
“And yet you keep coming back.” Ted took a sip of water, still looking at her. “Look, Charlotte, I don’t need you. You’re my friend, and I… Care about you. But this? Spending time, fucking, talking, that’s all something _ you _ want, something you  _ need _ . So feel free to walk through that door, go back to Sam and let him beat you bloody and rip your heart out, I’ll be right here when you need me.” He leaned back in his chair, staring at her.

Charlotte could feel tears in her eyes. “You’re being cruel.”

“Yes, I am. You said it yourself, you don’t want to be here. So I’m gonna make damn sure you know where I stand, and then you can make your own decisions. When I say Sam is a bad person, I don’t mean I’m a good one. Better, yes, but not good.”

“You’re not a bad person, Ted.” Charlotte had softened her voice; she wasn’t angry with him, she decided. He was partially right; not about Sam, but about her needing him and needing this. So she wasn’t gonna walk out.

“I really am.” He reached over to take her hand. “Let’s recap: I’m being cruel to you, your words not mine, seconds after saying that I care about you; I’m sleeping with a married woman, and I think it’s no secret that you’re not the first one; I’m the cause of one of my good friends getting a divorce, and he doesn’t even know yet. I’m a liar and I’m callous and cruel, I drink too much and don’t apologise for things I’ve done. Do you really still think I’m a good person?”

She squeezed his hand, but didn’t reply. “I’m curious which friend doesn’t know he’s getting a divorce.”   
“Can you keep a secret?” He leaned forward a bit, and Charlotte nodded. “It’s Bill. Laura is planning to leave him, but she hasn’t told him yet.”   
“And how do you know?”   
Ted smirked, a little too self-satisfied. “I’ve been sleeping with her. I’m not seeing her anymore, I don’t wanna risk getting involved in the divorce, I don’t know Laura well enough to care, but I do have to see Bill every day.” He leaned back. “Don’t tell anyone, alright?”   
“I won’t.” Charlotte shook her head and let go of his hand. “Why’d you sleep with her?”   
“She was right there.” He shrugged. “Last year’s Christmas party. Bill left for an hour to go pick up Alice, so I took care of his wife in the meantime. In more than one way.”

She shook her head at him again. “Do you only think about sex?”   
“Not only.” He grinned. “A lot though. Which reminds me, don’t you think it’s time you eat something so we can get to it?”

“Sure.” She rolled her eyes at him, but did cut one of her potatoes and ate it. “This is good by the way.”   
“Yeah, I’ve been living alone for ten years, I’ve learned how to cook by now.”

That made her raise an eyebrow. “Ten years? You’re not yet 30.”   
“You’re right, I’m 26. Well, I’ll be 27 next month. And I left my parents’ house on my 17th birthday, so ten years.” He shrugged. “I’ve learned to cook by now.”

“Makes sense.” She wanted to ask, but she’d learned her lesson; prodding Ted was a bad idea. It was better to let him tell her in his own time. She was almost surprised that she wanted to know, because she certainly didn’t bother with his life, but she supposed he was her friend. Just a friend. Whom she was fully planning on having sex with when they were done eating.

They ate the rest of their dinner in silence. Charlotte quickly cleared the table, telling Ted to sit down and let her handle it; she was so used to keeping herself busy in the kitchen, and she needed a moment of normalcy before what was happening next.

What was happening next was that she went to sit on Ted’s lap and kiss him. That made him smile and open his mouth to make what was undoubtedly another dumbass comment, so she kissed him again to shut him up.

He picked her up, and even though Charlotte was slightly self-conscious about being carried, she let him carry her to the bedroom before they had sex again.


	5. What We Call A Marriage

Sunday evening was rough. Charlotte had left Ted's apartment in the morning, to go home and clean up, but as the clock ticked closer to Sam coming home, her feeling of dread increased. He'd know, she was sure of it. He'd know that she'd cheated on him, even though she'd washed all her clothes and taken a shower, he'd know somehow, and he would get mad and upset, probably cry, and she didn't want him to. She cursed herself for what she'd done, called herself every unforgivable thing in the book, in between cleaning the apartment and nervously wringing her hands.

Sam came home even later than expected. "Hi honey."

"Oh hi Sam." Charlotte immediately went to the hall to greet him. "How was your weekend?"

"It was wonderful." He kissed her. "How was yours?"

"Oh, it was alright, I missed you though." The lie stung her throat, but she ignored it. "I have food ready."

"Ah, you're the best." He gave her a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled and kissed him. "Come on, you must be starving. How long was the drive again?"

"Only a few hours." Sam dropped his bag in the hall and followed Charlotte to the kitchen and the small dining table. "I just left later than expected."

"Oh." Charlotte took the food out of the oven and put it on the table. "You should've called, I was getting worried about you."

Sam dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "Oh, I thought I could make it up, and I didn't say when exactly I'd be home anyway. This looks good."

"Thank you." She thought about Ted, but covered it with a smile. "You were out with a friend, correct?"

"Yeah, just someone from work." Sam took some food. "It's good to see you Char, but I'm starving, so let's just eat."

"Oh." Charlotte put some food on her plate. "Sure."

After they'd eaten, Sam headed straight to bed citing a long drive and a headache, and leaving Charlotte to clean up. He was asleep already when she went to bed, and as much as she didn't want to, she couldn't help but remember Ted, who she almost had to force not to help, who held her when she fell asleep instead of just laying next to her.

It didn't do her any good to think like that, she decided. She loved Sam, and Ted was just filling a temporary void, one that Sam would soon take over again, and then she could forget anything ever happened between her and Ted.

In spite of that decision, her dream self told Ted that she loved him, and the Charlotte who woke up in the morning couldn't quite let go of that image.

She didn't see Ted at all that week. Well, she saw him in the office of course, but they barely talked, and she didn't see him outside of it at all. It was her own decision; Sam was home all week, and she wanted to spend time with her husband. She just also wanted to spend time with Ted — as a friend, of course.

Friday evening, when Sam called half an hour after he was supposed to be home to say he'd be back in the morning, she dropped that pretense and called Ted.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Sam won't be home until the morning, but I've had half a bottle of wine, so can you come here?" It was dumb. And not only was it dumb, it was risky, and Charlotte didn't take risks. But that day she apparently did.

So did Ted. "Yeah, just give me 20, I'll be there."

And 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Charlotte went to open. "Thanks for coming."

"Sure." Ted hung his jacket. "What's up?"

"It's just, Sam is out, he called an hour ago, but that was already half an hour after he was supposed to be home, and I was keeping food and wine ready, and then he's out, last minute plans, of course." She gave Ted a hug. "I guess I just missed some attention."

"I can be attentive." Ted held her close and kissed her hair. "Did he say where he was going."

"A colleague's house to play poker or something, just whatever they decided to do last-minute after work, I guess." She leaned into the embrace; Ted was already becoming a comfort to her, more so than she could remember anyone being. But she was sure Sam must've been, and could be again.

Ted held her even tighter and ran a hand through her hair. "You know that's a textbook excuse for cheating, right?"

"I know." She sighed. "He's just off seeing  _ her _ . Zoey or whatever. She's practically a kid, I don't know what he sees in her."

Ted pulled back a bit. "She's a kid?"

"I don't know, she's in college, I think. She's probably older than I think she is, I just don't like her."

"Because she's sleeping with your husband?" Ted raised an eyebrow.

"Because…" Charlotte pulled Ted closer again. "Because I think he loves her more than me."

Ted laughed softly, but he kissed her hair and kept holding her. "Charlotte, if that was truly the case, if he loves her more than you… Will you leave him?"

"I don't know." She was mumbling, barely audible, but Ted heard her.

"That's not a no." He gently pulled out of the embrace. "Come on, you're tense as a board and there's a reason I'm here." He took her hand, but didn't tug her along like he normally did.

"Ted? Is something wrong."

"Well, I don't know where your bedroom is, so." He shrugged. "Just waiting for you."

It wasn't until that moment that it had occurred to Charlotte that not only was she about to cheat on her husband again, she was going to do it in the bed they'd slept in on their wedding night. "Spare room," she said then and walked towards it, pulling Ted with her. "Not Sam's bed."

"We can also drive back to my place." Ted stopped her. "If you don't wanna do it here."

"No." Charlotte walked to the spare room, more confidently, pulling Ted along. "No, if Sam can bring  _ her  _ home for coffee and say she's an intern, I can damn well have sex in my own house."

"Wauw." Ted stopped again, so she turned to look at him. "He really did that?"

"That's how I found out." Charlotte stopped as well. "I saw him kiss her goodbye in the hallway. I guess she really was an intern, otherwise how would he have met her, but… I don't think that's why he brought her home."

"I suppose not." Ted stepped closer and gave Charlotte a proper kiss, which she appreciated. "Well, I'm hardly here as your coworker, so… I suppose that makes you even."

"I suppose." Charlotte got on her toes to kiss him again. "Come on, we have plans."

The spare room was small and the bed was uncomfortable, but with Ted, it was easy to forget. With Ted, Charlotte thought, she could be okay anywhere.

It wasn't a right thought, but she had it anyway.

She let Ted stay. She ought to kick him out, she didn't know when Sam was coming home, but he fell asleep quickly when they were done, arms around her, and she couldn't bear to wake him. She kissed him before he was properly asleep, smiling. "Goodnight Ted."

"Goodnight beautiful." He was mumbling and pulled her closer, and Charlotte woke him up anyway.

"Ted, can I ask you something?" She put a hand on his cheek. "Ted?"

"Huh?" He blinked at her a few times. "Oh shit, I should probably leave."

"No, it's fine, stay, we'll get up early, I just…" She shook her head. "You called me beautiful."

"You are." He smiled a little. "Come on, Charlotte, that can't be a surprise." He kissed her. "I'm gonna sleep now."

"Alright. Goodnight Ted."

Beautiful. He'd called her beautiful. It wasn't the first time, but it had always seemed like a cheap tactic to make her sleep with him, but this half-asleep Ted, holding her and calling her beautiful, this Ted seemed like he meant it. Charlotte would have to ignore it, but for a moment, in his arms, she let herself feel touched.


	6. What We Call A Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for making Charlotte sad again, but she's happy by the end of the chapter so it's okay

It wasn't just that Sam didn't pay attention to her, Charlotte decided. He had come home Saturday morning while she was in the shower after kicking out Ted, and he'd come to see her. They'd had sex, for the first time in months, but it didn't feel right. It felt…

"Perfunctory," she said, looking at Sam in bed next to her. "Why does it feel perfunctory when we have sex?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He sat up and looked down at her. "What are you trying to say?" There was an undertone to his voice that she knew all too well.

"I don't know." She sighed and sat up. "I guess I just wasn't feeling it as much as I thought I was."

"Well that's not my problem." Sam laid back down. "Not unless you say no."

She wanted to ask what would happen if she did, but she wasn't sure she'd like the answer, so she asked something else instead. "Sam sweetheart… Would you ever leave me?"

"No, of course not." He wasn't looking at her, and he sounded almost bored. "You're my wife, I love you."

"I love you too." She laid down with him again, holding him close. "I love you a lot."

"Aha." Sam did throw an arm around her, but he still didn't seem into it. "By the way, I know it sucks, but I have to work tomorrow. Only from ten, and only until six, but you know, you gotta keep yourself occupied."

"That's alright." She smiled at him. "It means I can push chores 'til tomorrow and then stay with you today." It also meant that she could go see Ted, but she didn't like to think about that. She just couldn't quite stop herself.

As it turned out, she didn't push chores for Sunday, because Sam decided that her not having anything to cook fresh that day was a good enough reason to push her into a wall and then immediately cry about having done it. So she held him and told him she forgave him — because she did, she loved him, he was just having a rough time — and went to get the house in order so that he was less stressed.

She left just a few minutes after him Sunday morning, hoping and praying that Ted was home. If God was listening, he answered; the door was opened almost immediately after she knocked, and Ted smiled. "Didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Sam is at work." She walked inside. "I uhh, I didn't have a good enough reason to be at home."

"Well, I'm glad you're here." He pulled her into a hug, and she winced slightly. "He hit you again."

It wasn't a question, but Charlotte answered anyway. "He did not." She felt tears in her eyes, and suddenly just leaned into Ted; he put his arms around her again, gently and softly. "He just uhh, he pushed me. Last night. Into a wall. He's just stressed and I hadn't done what I promised and he apologised immediately, of course, so really, it's my fault, it just hurts."

"Charlotte… I think you know my stance on this, and I know you don't wanna hear it, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. You need to dump his ass. Dump him and leave him far behind. I'd… Honestly, I'd say you should go as far as leaving town, or at least get a restraining order, I mean, he's hurting you. Come on. Why are you even staying with him? I know it's not for sex, you're more desperately horny than I am."

"Ted!" She pushed away. "It's not about sex! I mean, it's not just… I love Sam. I want to be with him, and yes, I want to have sex with him, but I do, and it doesn't feel right. I want it to be like it used to be, I want us to be in love again. And we can be, and we will be."

"Charlotte…" Ted reached out for her. "Listen, he's not good for you. He doesn't love you anymore, he never will, because he's unwilling to try. And he's only having sex with you because he feels like he has to, and you're only having sex with him because you're desperate to feel something. You need someone who loves you, and Sam's not it."

"And you are?" she asked, her voice more bitter than intended. She didn't know what she wanted his reply to be.

He shrugged. "I could be. I'm not asking you to leave Sam for me, I just want you to leave him, but if it means that you will, yes, I will put in the work. If you never wanna see me again after leaving him, that's also fine. But I'm telling you, right now, if you're staying with Sam because you're afraid of being alone, that excuse no longer works. I'm right here." He sighed. "It's your call, Charlotte, but I think you should leave the bastard. He doesn't deserve you."

"And you do?" She let go of his hand. "You think that it matters? I love Sam. I don't love you."

"I never said you did, look, Charlotte, this is great, and I'm happy to be your friend or whatever, but if you don't want my opinion, say so. If you just want to tell me everything and have me say okay and then have a pity fuck, fine, just tell me. But if you insist on asking me for advice, stop rejecting it."

"You're being cruel again." She turned her back on him, and it was a lot harder than it should be.

"We already established that I am. Last week, remember. I'm cruel and horny, you're a beautiful idiot, what a pair we make." He walked over and spun her around to face him. "Look, I don't want to hurt you, and I'm sorry I do. And if I knew what you wanted from me, I'd give it to you, but I don't, so I'm just giving what I have to give, alright?"

"I don't know what I want from you." Charlotte stared up at him for a few seconds. "I don't… I don't know."

"That's alright." Ted's expression had softened a little, and he kissed her forehead. "For now, how about coffee? It's not yet 11am and it's Sunday, I think we need coffee, don't you?"

"Coffee sounds good." She nodded.

"Good." He kissed her forehead again. "I'll go start the machine. Just go sit on the couch, I'll bring it in."

"Alright." She went to the living room and sat on the couch. "What are you doing here, Charlotte?" She pulled a cigarette out of her purse and lit it. "What are you doing here?"

Ted came in only a few seconds later. "I smelled smoke, here." He put a plate down in front of her. "I don't have an ashtray, but this'll do."

"Oh. Thanks." She flicked the ash off her cigarette and into the tray.

"No problem. Give me a sec with the coffee."

"Sure."

He came back a few minutes later, when she was almost done with her cigarette, and placed a mug in front of her. "Alright." He pulled his legs up on the couch and smiled at her. "I have two suggestions on what we can do, and you're free to reject both. Suggestion one, fuck. Suggestion two, watch a movie or some shitty TV."

Charlotte laughed. "I mean, we're having coffee, so let's start with the TV."

"Sure." Ted reached for the remote and switched the TV on, then surfed through a few channels until he found something relevant. "Come here." He opened his arms and gestured for her to move closer.

She put her coffee down and complied. "What are you— Wow." Ted had pulled her in so she was sitting with her back against his chest, with both his arms around her. "Oh."

"Sorry." He kissed her hair and laughed. "Can you reach your coffee from here?"

"Yeah." She reached out and grabbed it. "Hey Ted?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for letting me come here unannounced so often. I really appreciate having a friend like you."

"Any time." He kissed her again. "Now shush, this is the best part."

She chuckled, but didn't say any more, just drank her coffee and half watched Ted's dumb reality show. She could feel more than hear him laugh at the participants' antics, and sometimes, without warning, she would feel his lips in her hair or on her cheek, and his hand closing around hers.

Even if they did end up having sex on the couch before the show was even over, Charlotte still enjoyed that quiet moment of coexisting more than she cared to admit.


	7. What We Call A Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is cute

It wasn’t that Sam didn’t come home in the evening, Charlotte told herself when she walked to the car the next morning, it was just that he hadn’t cared to call, or even text. And it wasn’t because she would’ve gone to Ted’s if she knew — even though, she admitted to herself, she probably would — it was just that she’d gotten worried and called the precinct. And it wasn’t that he was out late, it was just that he lied to her about it, because he told her in the morning that he’d been working and had taken a nap in the back room, but she’d called the precinct around 8pm, and they said he’d left at 5.30 like he was supposed to.

He still wasn’t home when she left, so she decided that there was no reason for her to be home for him that evening. She probably should be, should make dinner and talk to him, but she was cross with him, so she cornered Ted in the break room and asked to come to his place after work. He’d kissed her and said okay, so she left ten minutes after him and drove straight to his place.

Ted was still waiting in the parking lot when she pulled up in front of his building. He smiled. “Hey. How are you?”   
She smiled back. “Tired. And… Cross.”   
“Not with me, I hope.” He nodded towards the building and began walking.

She followed. “No. With Sam.”   
“Hmm.” Ted held the door for her. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe.” She hesitated until they were outside his door. “I don’t know. Maybe later.”   
“We can do later.” Ted unlocked the door and led her inside. “Do you want coffee or anything, or—”   
She interrupted him by kissing him. “No. Not now.” She didn’t have a good reason, and she did want to talk and spend time with him, but it had been over a week, and there was no reason to pretend.

“Alright then.” Ted’s voice was barely a whisper, and he was evidently surprised, but recovered well. “Let’s do this first.”

They laid still in bed for too long afterwards. Judging by Ted’s even breathing and stillness, he’d fallen asleep, and Charlotte couldn’t blame him; she wished she could sleep, too. But she couldn’t, so instead she focused on the feeling of Ted behind her, his arms around her, steady breathing and steady heartbeat.

After some time — she couldn’t have said how long — it became evident that he wasn’t asleep, or at least had woken up. He kissed her hair, and his arms tightened a little, but he didn’t say anything.

“Are you awake?” Charlotte asked, half a whisper.

“Yeah.” He was speaking as softly as she was. “I think so. Might be dreaming.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She didn’t turn to look at him, even though she wanted to. She just felt him against her chest.

“You’re here.” He kissed her hair again. “So this might just be wishful thinking.”   
“Don’t be silly.” She did turn, now. “I’m here.” She kissed him properly. “Not as much as you’d like me to be.”

“No.” He smiled softly. “But you’re here.” He kissed her. “Wait, Charlotte? Are you okay, what’s up?” He suddenly sounded distressed.

It wasn’t until then that Charlotte realised that she’d started crying. “I’m fine.” She smiled and wiped her eyes on the duvet. “I just… This is nice. I’ve missed this.”   
“Missed what?” Ted was still smiling, but he was evidently still worried.

“This. Coexisting. Sex. Well, sex that doesn’t feel perfunctory. Just… This.” She didn’t meet his eyes. “Sam doesn’t hold me anymore.”   
“At all?” Ted kissed her. “Look, I stand by what I’ve said; you’re a smart woman, and you’re beautiful and talented, and Sam has no idea what he’s missing out on.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, then his words registered. “Ted… Are you in love with me?”

His smile widened and he kissed her. “I think you know the answer to that.”

"Do I?" She shook her head. "Please answer."

He kissed her again. "Will you answer a question for me then?"

"Maybe."

"I'll take it." He smiled. "Yes, I am. That should hardly come as a surprise at this point."

"I guess not." She  _ was  _ surprised. Maybe she'd known, but she didn't want to acknowledge it.

"My turn." He smiled. "I have two questions: Are you in love with Sam, and are you in love with me?" He held her eyes and his soft smile, as though he hadn't just asked her the two hardest questions she could imagine.

"I love Sam." It was easy, because she'd been saying it for years. More than half her life.

"I know, I asked if you're  _ in love _ with him. Not the same thing." He was still smiling, but there was some kind of edge to his voice.

"It's different when you're married." Was it? She hoped it was. "It's not about being in love, it's just… Love. Companionship. Coexisting."

"And yet you're here, coexisting with me, and not with Sam. You still haven't answered either question."

"No." She sighed, but she had to be honest. "I'm not in love with Sam." She hesitated. "You… I don't know. No. I don't know."

"I'll take it all." He kissed her. "Look, I'm… Here, whatever that means. And I'll be what you need me to be, because I'm your friend first, and I want you to be safe. Look at this." He ran a hand down her arm, blue and purple and green and yellow. "This hurts, but what's worse is that you take it. You  _ let  _ him do this to you. Why?"

"I told you, I love him." She wanted to free herself from his arms, to push him away, to leave. She didn't. "He just needs time. He loves me."

" _ He loves me not _ . Charlotte, come on, you're smarter than that. Would he treat you like this if he really loved you?"

"He needs time." She sighed. "He uhh, he didn't come home last night. And that's fine, it's just, he didn't call or text until almost midnight, and I was already getting worried. And then he said he was working, but I'd called the precinct to ask for him earlier, and they said he'd left already, so I guess he was out or with her. And that's fine, it's fine, really, I just wish he wasn't lying to me."

"Understandable." Ted kissed her forehead. "Just… Promise me something, alright? Promise me you'll think about leaving him. I'm not saying do it, I'm just saying think about it, really think about it."

"And do what? Be with you instead?"

"That would be nice." He smiled. "Yes, I want to be with you, without your scumbag husband being in the picture, but I'll take what I can get. And if that's you without him  _ or  _ me, well… It works. I think."

Charlotte shook her head. "Oh Ted… You know it's not that easy."

"Just think about it. I'll go make us coffee in the meantime, yeah?" He kissed her and got out of bed, reaching for his clothes. "Seriously, think about it."

Charlotte stayed in his bed until he came to get her. By then, she'd made up her mind.

"I'm not leaving Sam." They'd drunk their coffee in silence, sitting side by side on the couch and not looking at each other. "I love him, and I want to make things work."

Ted sighed. "Alright." He looked at her. "Fine. But at least tell me you'll consider doing something about your marriage."

"What do you want me to do?" She looked at him and shrugged. "What can I do?"

"I don't know. Counselling. Send yourself to therapy and figure it out. I don't know shit about marriage, I'm just a friend." He took her hand. "I mean that, I have no fucking clue, but okay. If that's what you want. It's not what I hoped for, but it's something."

"It's something." She smiled. "You hoped I'd leave him for you."

"Sue me." Ted grinned. "Yeah, I did. But this is better than you ignoring your issues."

"I guess." She smiled. "I think… Okay, maybe I am a little bit into you, but I'll get over it. Just not today." She scooted closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Today I think I'm okay with this."

"Good." Ted wrapped an arm around her. "I'm happy to know I'm not just anyone."

"You couldn't be." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I wouldn't be here if you were."

"I know." He turned to kiss her properly. "Hey, tell you what, I'll cook some dinner for us. Wanna keep me company in the kitchen?"

"Sure." She smiled. "Sounds good."

They stayed on the couch for a few more minutes, silently leaning on each other.


	8. What We Call Love

Charlotte decided not to stay the night. As soon as she came home, she wished she had.

"Where have you been?" Sam was standing in the hallway, clearly waiting for her. "Why didn't you call?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be home." She hung her coat, took off her shoes, and went to kiss him.

He grabbed her arms before she got that far. "Where. Have. You. Been?" He squeezed her arms tightly, and Charlotte had to stop herself from cringing from the pain. She wasn't sure if it was him holding tightly, or him hitting old bruises, but the pain was the same.

"Nowhere. Out. With a friend." All lies, all truths. The only way she could lie to Sam. "I'm sorry I didn't call, I would have if I knew you were gonna be home."

"Of course you would." He let go, only to hit her again.

She cried out this time. "Sam, please, stop. Sam, you're—" She cried out again as he hit her again. "Sam!" It was the first time he'd hit her twice. "Sam, you're hurting me!"

"You're the worst wife!" Sam raised his hand again. "Get out!" He hit her. "I don't wanna see you anymore!"

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving!" She grabbed her shoes and jacket and moved out the door. Once in the stairwell, she put her shoes and jacket on, then walked down to the car. Only then did she start crying, fumbling out her phone and calling Ted.

She was sobbing too much to speak by the time he picked up. "I'm coming to get you," he said, not waiting. "Where are you?"

"Home," she managed. "Waiting in the car."

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can. Just stay put."

Ten minutes later, the passenger side door opened, and Ted got in the car. "Hey." He reached for her hand. "Let's go back to my place alright, we'll take my car. Then we can talk. Would that be alright?"

"Yeah." She'd calmed down a little. "Yeah, that… That would be nice."

"Good. Come on." He opened the door and got out.

They drove mostly in silence, but Ted held her hand the entire way, and he wrapped an arm around her as soon as they got out of the car.

The second the door to his apartment had closed behind them, Charlotte wrapped her arms around Ted and sobbed into his chest.

He put his arms around her, softly, and why was Sam never so soft with her? She didn't care just then; Ted was, and that had to be enough.

"He really must've gone overboard if you're like this," Ted said eventually. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know." She was still sniffling and kept her head against his chest, but she had calmed down somewhat. "I'm just tired."

"Let's go to bed, then. We can talk tomorrow, I know we have work, but I think this is a good enough reason not to come in." He pulled back slightly. "Does that sound alright?"

"Yeah." She forced a smile. "Thanks."

"Of course. Come on, you look like you haven't slept in a week, and you didn't look like that an hour ago." He helped her hang up her jacket, then took her to the bedroom to go to bed. "Okay, I'm gonna stay awake until you sleep, so if you wanna talk, you just talk." He pulled her to his chest.

"Thanks Ted, it… It means a lot." She managed another smile, but it felt fragile. "You're a good friend."

"I do try." He kissed her forehead. "Try to get some rest, Charlotte."

"Okay." She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, forcing herself to breathe slowly.

Somehow, despite the thoughts running through her head, she managed to sleep.

She woke up late the next morning. She knew it was late because she was not woken by an alarm, because there was sunlight slanting through the windows, and because Ted was sitting upright in bed, fully dressed.

“What time is it?” She looked up at him.

“About ten.” He smiled. “I figured I’d let you sleep. Don’t worry, you don’t lock your phone, so I emailed Mr. Davidson for you, he thinks you’re sick. I just called and asked to work from home, it was easier. Less suspicious than both of us being sick, I figured.”   
“Yeah.” She blinked. The events of the day before were coming back to her slowly, in fragments, and with it came the pain. “I think I’m gonna take a shower.” She sat up. “Do you have Advil or something? My head feels like a rotten melon.”   
“Sure.” He got out of bed. “Just stay still, I’ll bring you some.” He left the bedroom and came back a minute later with water and two pills. “Here you go. I’ll make you some food while you shower, do you want eggs? Toast? What do you want?”

“Just toast.” She smiled. “Thanks. You’re a good friend.”   
He smiled back. “Just go shower.”

Charlotte realised, when she was in the shower, that there had been a bitter edge to both his voice and his smile.

She finished her shower, got dressed — she didn’t have clean clothes, but it was still better — and went to the kitchen.

Ted had toasted bread for her, with cold butter, and made fresh coffee. “I figured you’d need that.” He smiled and drew up a chair. When she’d sat down, he drew up a chair for himself and sat across from her. “Alright, we need to talk. What happened?”

“I don’t wanna think about it.” She shook her head. “He was home when I came back last night, he was mad at me… He’d been waiting for me, I think. I think he suspects me of cheating on him, but maybe he just doesn’t… I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“I know it sucks, but Charlotte, you have to tell me what happened. I… Just tell me.” Ted wasn’t smiling, not even the gentle, encouraging smile he usually went for during those conversations. He looked serious, and although he reached out to take her hand, it looked reflexive more than intentionally comforting.

Deciding that reflexive was better than perfunctory, Charlotte nodded. “I know. Um, it’s just… He wouldn’t let me kiss him, he squeezed my arms and… It’s— It’s the—” She cut herself short with a gasp, trying not to cry. “It’s the first time he’s hit me more than once. Normally he hits me, and then immediately apologises, he cries a lot, but this time… He didn’t. He called me a bad wife, which is right, but then he said he never wanted to see me again. I don’t know… He’s never stayed mad at me. He hasn’t even called or texted.” She was staring at the table, but she could feel her grip on Ted’s hand tightening as she spoke.

“Okay.” Ted ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I need to say this; you cannot stay with him.” She was about to protest, but Ted cut her off. “No, Charlotte, I know I’ve said this a lot, but I mean it. You can’t. He’s not good for you, he doesn’t love you, he’s using you. Once…” He sighed. “You told me once that you’d consider leaving him if he loved that girl more than you. Do you think he hits her? Yells at her?” She didn’t answer. “I’ll tell you what I think; I don’t think he does. Because she’s not been under his influence for more than a decade, so she’d leave. He didn’t hit you at first, did he?”

She shook her head. “It started a few years ago. Just before our tenth anniversary. We’d been together for sixteen years then.”

“Exactly.” Ted shook his head. “So that’s… Six years of dating, plus now 12 years of marriage, that’s… 18 years, and you’re 34, so… You were 16 when you guys started dating. God, please tell me Sam is you age.”

“A year older. So it’s fine, it wasn’t like that,  _ he _ wasn’t like that. Don’t know if he is now, I don’t know what’s up with that girl, I don’t know how old she is.”   
“It doesn’t matter, I was gonna prove a point that didn’t work.” He smiled a little. “But I’m gonna make another point. That’s more than half your life with him, your entire adult life. Of course you wanna stay with him.”   
She looked up then; it was a different tone than he normally took. “So you get it?”   
“Absolutely not.” He smiled. “I was talking to a friend who’s a lot smarter than I am. I don’t get it. But my friend told me that it made sense if you’d known him for that many years, come on, you got married at 22. I don’t get it, he’s clearly bad for you, he clearly doesn’t love you, at least not enough, so you should just leave. But I’ve been told it’s not that simple.” He shook his head. “I don’t get it. But okay, I’ll assume it isn’t, because you’re a smart woman, and you must see my point by now.”

“Yeah.” She nodded and sighed. “It’s just… I’m Sam’s wife. I’ve been Sam’s wife, or Sam’s fiancée, or Sam’s girlfriend, for so long. Charlotte and Sam. Sam and Charlotte. It just fits.”   
“Charlotte and Ted.” He smiled, but he wasn’t meeting her eyes anymore. “Ted and Charlotte. It could work. Or just Charlotte. Charlotte, by herself, a person. You’re a good person, Charlotte, and I— You could do so much better.”

It didn’t escape Charlotte’s attention that it was the second time that morning he’d cut himself off, but she decided to let him have it for the moment. “Charlotte,” she repeated instead. “I’m Charlotte.” She nodded. “I know. And… I love Sam, but I know this isn’t good. I know I should have better, and I want to demand better but… I want to demand better from him.”   
“You won’t get it.” Ted’s voice was soft, and he was still holding her hand, but his expression had shuttered. “He’s a terrible human being, and you can beg as much as you want, he won’t be any better. You’re better off without him.”   
“Better off with you?” She wanted to let him off the hook, but she also wanted him to admit what he was saying.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “Or alone or— Or with someone else. Yeah, I’d prefer with me, but… You’re just better off without him.”

“I know.” She looked into her cup. “I love Sam.”   
“I know.”

“I think… I love you.” She still didn’t look up.

Ted sighed. “I love you too.” He drew his hand back. “But that’s apparently not enough.” He stood up. “Are you done?”   
“Yeah.” She watched as he took their plates and went to the sink. “Ted?” He didn’t turn. “Ted, I… I mean it. I wish I didn’t, I’ve been pretending for a long time that I didn’t, but I do love you, and I don’t think… I don’t think I could give you up. But Sam too. You must understand.”   
“No, I don’t.” He turned to look at her. “I really don’t. Look, if you were a piece of shit, let’s be real, I probably wouldn’t have fallen in love with you in the first place, but if I had… I’d have left. Kicked you out. I’ve considered it several times, because you’re just stringing me along at this point, and I’m an idiot for putting up with it, but I haven’t kicked you out, and you know why? Because I keep thinking, if I just keep you around for long enough, maybe eventually you’ll leave that asshole, maybe if I just show you what we call a relationship in a world of functional people, maybe you’ll realise that your marriage is already dead and you’re sleeping with a ghost. But if you’re gonna keep clinging to some idea of marriage as eternal, I don’t wanna do this anymore. I love you, I do, and I want the best for you. How many times have I told you to leave Sam, whether for me or for being alone? And you really have the… The audacity to think that I understand why you can’t give up Sam? He’s hurting you in more than one way. I’m done, okay? You can stay here until you figure things out with Sam, there’s a spare key in the cabinet in the hall, but I’m out. Give it back to me at work when you have another place to sleep.” He beelined for the door.

“Ted?” Charlotte got up and followed him to the hall. “Ted, wait. I know, maybe you’re right, I’m sorry, but we can fix this, we can—”   
“No, Charlotte, we can’t, okay? There is nothing  _ to _ fix. This is what we call a relationship; they don’t break, they just stop existing. And this one? It doesn’t exist anymore. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” And just like that, the door shut behind him, and he was gone.

Charlotte went to sit on the couch, crying. It wasn’t that Ted was wrong, per se, it was just that he’d phrased it in a way that made her feel like she could’ve done better so much sooner. And maybe she could, but it wasn’t that easy. She needed a break.

Her train of thought was interrupted by her phone ringing. It was Sam. “Hello?”

“Charlotte?”   
“Yeah.” She took a deep breath to steel herself. “What do you want?”

“I just… I’m sorry about what happened last night, I don’t know what came over me, I— I love you just, please, come home, we can figure this out, I know we can.”   
“I know.” She sighed, thinking about Ted. “Look, Sam… What happened last night, you’ve never been this bad before. And I— I know you’ve been cheating on me. And I can forgive that, I love you, I can forgive all of it, but we need to work on this.” Another deep breath. “I think we need to find a counsellor.”

A long silence from the other end of the line. “Maybe you’re right,” Sam said, eventually. “I just don’t want to lose you, and I think a counsellor is gonna tell us to get a divorce and—”   
“Sam.” It was the first time she could remember interrupting him like that, and she was sure she only dared because they were on the phone and he didn’t know where she was. “Listen. I don’t wanna lose you either, I love you, but like this, I will. If we continue like this, we will have to get a divorce. You understand that, right?”

“I know.” Sam sounded defeated. “I know. But Charlotte, baby, I love you, I can be better, I just don’t want to lose you, I’ll be better. I promise.”

“Alright Sam, but this is your last chance.” She sighed; she shouldn’t give him another chance. “I mean it this time. The next time anything happens, I’m calling the counsellor.”   
“Okay. I love you.”   
“I love you too. I’ll see you at home.” Charlotte sighed and hung up the phone. She called Ted, but he didn’t pick up, so she called again. This time he did pick up. “Ted? Are you there?”   
“Yes,” he replied flatly.

“I’m leaving, I’m going home. I talked to Sam. You can come home now.” She was shaking.

“Alright. Thanks.” There was no inflection in his voice. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
“See you. And Ted?”   
“Yeah?”   
“I love you.”

He hung up after that, so Charlotte sighed and got her things together and left. She didn’t even touch the spare key; the door locked automatically, so there was no point.

She did stop in the parking lot to have a cigarette before driving home, which meant that she was still there when Ted came in. He looked at her and walked over. “So.” He leaned against her car next to her. “Did you kick Sam out?”   
She shook her head. “I asked him to go to counselling.”

“And he said yes?” It was the first emotion Ted had displayed since leaving; only incredulousness, but emotion nonetheless. “Didn’t see that one coming.”   
“No. He promised to be better. He said if it happened again, then we could call a counsellor, but he asked for a chance to get better by himself first.”   
“Why’d you say yes? You know he’s gonna ask the same thing next time.”   
“I know.” She sighed, dropped the butt of her cigarette, and stomped it out. “I’m hoping maybe next time I can ask him properly. At least we’ve talked about it now.”

“I don’t believe you.” Ted shook his head. “Well. Unfortunately, I’m not a smart man. I’m here if you need me, after tomorrow. Tonight I plan on getting very drunk and hooking up with a stranger, and tomorrow I plan on having a hangover. After that, though… After that I’ll be back to playing at being your boyfriend.” He pushed off the car and walked away. “Goodbye Charlotte.”   
“Goodbye Ted.” She could feel tears in her voice, but she thought she managed to sound steady enough. Nonetheless, she stayed standing outside, watching his back, until the door closed behind him.

It wasn’t until she saw the lights turned on in his bedroom that she got in her car and drove home.


	9. What We Call A Compromise

Ted wasn’t at work the next day; he’d called in sick. It shouldn’t surprise her, but it did. She made it through the day with a smile plastered on her face and brushing off her colleagues when they asked if she was okay, but she couldn’t shake the image of Ted with some faceless woman, not thinking about her. She wasn’t allowed to be hurt about it, he wasn’t her boyfriend, but the image still stung. Then she thought about Sam the same way, with the girl she’d seen him kiss, and it didn’t sting nearly as much. It was just because she was used to the thought, she told herself. She still couldn’t shake the image of Ted with someone else’s name on his lips.

She had sex with Sam that night. It felt perfunctory again, but this time she suspected it wasn’t just from Sam’s side, and even in her husband’s arms, she was still thinking about Ted.

Sam had dropped her off at the office Friday morning, the other car was in the shop, so she asked Ted for a ride. “To your own place?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

They were alone in the breakroom, so she decided not to chide him for flirting at work. “Or yours.” She shrugged. “Whichever works. But uhh, I would like to talk to you.”

“Sure.” He smiled, evidently fake and forced. “No problem.”

It wasn’t exactly the reaction she’d hoped for, but she’d take it. Especially since he did wait by her desk for her to finish up when the day was over.

They didn’t talk in the car. They didn’t talk walking across the parking lot together, didn’t talk all the way up the stairs, didn’t talk as they both hung their jackets and kicked off their shoes.

Ted grabbed her shoulders, gently, and pulled her towards him, leaning down to kiss her. Charlotte put her arms around him and let him, kissed him and waited for him to be done, to take what he wanted from her. She’d have preferred to talk first, but she didn’t mind kissing, and she felt like she owed him to let him set the pace, just then.

He broke the kiss eventually, but didn’t let go of her shoulders. “Charlotte.” He was looking directly at her, and his breath was steady, even if hers wasn’t.

She could easily break free, could take a step back, but she didn’t. She stayed, hands on his hips, head tilted back to look at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck that.” He kissed her again. “Tell me how you managed to go two days without calling me, because I have written and deleted an embarrassingly ungodly amount of texts.”

She smiled then, even chuckled a little. “I thought you were mad at me. I left you for someone else, you were allowed to be upset, and I wanted to wait for you. And…” She averted her eyes, but she thought it was better to keep going. “The thought of you with some other woman kinda sucked, which is in no way fair when I’m the one who’s married, so I didn’t wanna talk to you.”   
“What do you mean, some other woman?” His face had loosened up a little, and his hands slid down her back to be a proper embrace.

“You said…” She shook her head. “That might’ve been the anger talking. But you said you were going out to hook up with—”

“A stranger, yes.” He smiled. “Okay, tangent, we’ll get back to fighting in a second, but please tell me you didn’t think I was straight.”

She thought about it for a second. “Now that you mention it…” She laughed. “A man, then. Someone else. Someone not me.”

He laughed and pulled her into a hug. “Yeah, you’re absolutely not allowed to be upset about that, but yes, it was a man. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t remember his name.” He kissed her head. “I missed you. I kept telling myself I shouldn’t, but… I did. And honestly, whatshisface didn’t help, and driving home from Clyvesdale with a hangover really sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still absolutely prepared to walk out of this… Relationship or whatever we call it, but I did miss you.”

“I think this is what we call a relationship.” She smiled up at him. “But that’s fine, and I understand that. I’m just not.” She stepped out of the embrace entirely. “I think maybe some coffee and a proper sit down is in order for this conversation. Unless you have other plans?”   
“I do, but they can wait.” He took her hand. “Coffee sounds good.” He led her to the kitchen and didn’t let go of her hand, even as he had to measure out coffee grounds and pour water in the machine. He managed well enough one-handed, but Charlotte couldn’t help but laughing at him.

Once the coffee was done, they went to the living room and sat on the couch. “Alright.” Charlotte sighed. “I’m not leaving Sam. I know what you’re gonna say, but I’m not. Not at the moment.”   
“Okay.” Ted finally let go of her hand and went to sip his coffee. “That’s fine. Just to be clear here, do you plan on choosing, or do you plan on still cheating on him with me?”

“For now, I plan on staying with you.” She smiled, but it felt forced and fragile. “If you’ll have me.”

“I will.” He was looking at his coffee. “For now. Ground rules, though.” He looked up. “One, we can be friends and just hang out and talk about stuff, actually I want that, but no more Sam, okay? I don’t wanna talk about your marriage, I don’t wanna give you advice you’re not gonna listen to, I don’t wanna be reminded that you’re married. Which leads me to the next thing; if this is what we call a relationship, let’s make it that, yeah?”   
“What do you mean? Like going on dates?” She stirred her coffee. “I know you don’t wanna hear this, but I can’t do that, you know why.”   
“I know, I didn’t mean out, necessarily.” He smiled. “Just here. What we’ve already done. Coffee dates in my living room.” He scoffed. “That’s so typical of me, isn’t it? Fuck it, this is… I— You know.” His smile dropped a little, turned sadder.

“It’s not that hard to say.” She smiled back, softly, reaching out for his hand. “I love you.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed her hand. “We both know I don’t know how to do this unless I’m angry.”   
“So you’re not angry with me?” She knew he wasn’t, but she still felt like asking.

“No.” He smiled. “I’m not.” He put down his coffee and scooted closer, wrapping and arm around her shoulders. “Not anymore. Just… Let’s do it this way, yeah?”   
“Yeah.” She sighed. “Actually… No. I’m sorry, I know I don’t get to make demands, but I need to learn, and it’s easier with you, so… Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He kissed her hair. “I might say no, but you can always ask.”

“Alright.” She sighed. “You’re the only person I’ve ever been able to talk to about Sam. I think… I think, if I give that up, it’s gonna be harder to work with him. I know it’s not your job to help me, but I’m asking you, please… If you love me, please consider, at the very least, to let me talk about Sam. You don’t have to answer, we don’t have to fight about it, you can stop me, but… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do anything about it if I don’t know that there’s someone in my corner.”   
Ted, who had been quietly holding her until she stopped speaking, kissed her hair and rested his cheek on her head. “Alright.” He sighed. “We can try. But you have to promise me something, then; don’t ask me for advice. You can ask me to listen, that’s fine, I will, but don’t ask me for advice. You won’t listen to me, and we’re just gonna fight about it. I don’t wanna fight with you; I wanna be with you.”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “That’s alright. We don’t have to fight.” She let the silence hang for a moment. “I do love you. You know that, right?”

“I know, you’ve said.” Ted was motionless. He sighed. “I love you too.” Another sigh. “That really is the first time I’ve said it without being angry, huh.” He laughed and moved away, looking at her. “It’s never gonna happen again.”   
“It’s alright.” Charlotte smiled and put her coffee down. “I’ll know.” She pulled him in to kiss him.

She hated when they had sex on the couch, but she couldn’t be bothered to care that day, because it was the first time she felt like she knew where they stood.


	10. What We Call A Wife

Sam hadn't hit her in two weeks, hadn't yelled at her, hadn't as much as chided her. She was walking on eggshells around him, more so the longer time passed, but he was perfectly pleasant, even lovely. They had sex, and it felt like he was putting effort into making it good, even if she wasn't. Because he was off three hours later than her on weekdays, so she went with Ted home after work.

He did have Friday off, and Charlotte didn't, but she decided to be nice to him, because it did seem like he was putting in effort to make things work, which she could appreciate. Plus, it was their 13th anniversary. So she asked Mr. Davidson if she could leave early, which he said yes to, and bought a cake on the way home.

It was initially pretty quiet when she came back, so she thought Sam might be taking a nap; she couldn't blame him, he'd been working a lot lately. She tiptoed to the kitchen to leave the cake, and went to the bedroom to wake him up.

She heard it just before her hand hit the doorknob. Moaning. Sam, easily recognisable after years of having sex with him, and someone else. A woman. And then the woman's voice, one she remembered from nearly a year before when he'd brought her home. "Ugh, Sam, why are you so fucking sexy?"

And then Sam laughed and said something in response, but by then, Charlotte had moved back to the kitchen. She could leave and pretend it never happened. She could walk in and cause a scene.

Eventually, she resorted to just sitting in the kitchen, by the door with it open so that they couldn't avoid walking past her when they walked to the hall. She wasn't going to cause a scene, not with that girl there, but she was definitely not gonna let Sam think he could just bring her home whenever. She realised the irony of her having brought Ted home before, but only once, and Sam had been gone all night, then.

It took about twenty minutes before they walked out. Charlotte knew damn well Sam couldn't last that long, so she knew they'd either talked or slept, and she'd guess talked. Either way.

She stood up as soon as she saw Sam. "Oh, there you are baby, I was just about to go knock." She smiled and looked past him at the girl. "Oh hello, I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name."

"Zoey," the girl muttered, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry, I'm just leaving."

"Don't worry." Charlotte forced herself to sound pleasant, even if she felt like her throat was closing in on itself. "Take your time." Zoey moved off towards the hall, but Sam still stood, staring at Charlotte. "Go ahead, Sam, it's bad manners not to say goodbye to your guests."

"Uh, sure." He walked towards the hall. She could hear him and Zoey talking a little, then the door closed, and Sam came back. "What the fuck, you're supposed to be at work."

"Sam, do you know what day today is?" She had sat back down in the kitchen, and was looking up at him. "I'll give you a hint, it's March 9th."

"Fuck." Sam sat down. "Charlotte, I'm so sorry, —"

"Stop, just… Just stop." She let the tears come, now. "I can live with you cheating on me. I can live with her, that's fine, but not in my bed. If you're gonna bring her home, at least use the spare bedroom. And at least don't make it on our anniversary, the one day I might choose to come home early. I bought cake. I really tried, because I was beginning to think you care, but this… I guess not." She shook her head. "Sam, do you love me?"

"Of course I do, Charlotte, baby, you're my wife, of course I love you." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I know, I shouldn't have slept with Zoey, I don't even have a good reason—"

"It's not about Zoey." Charlotte sighed. "I told you, I'm fine with Zoey. You need to have sex with someone else, whatever, that's fine. Go see Zoey. Poor kid doesn't know what she's in for."

"She's not a kid, she's 21," Sam muttered, but he looked a little more comfortable.

"And you're 35, and I'm not an idiot, you've been seeing her for over a year. Did you buy her alcohol before she turned 21? Have you really lost that much integrity?" Charlotte wasn't sure why she wasn't scared of Sam anymore. Maybe it was because he looked genuinely embarrassed. Maybe it was because she knew she had a place to go. But regardless, she wasn't scared.

Sam looked at the table. "Sometimes. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of for her."

"Do you love her?" Charlotte tapped the table. "Look at me, Sam. Do you love her?"

He looked up. "Yeah." He looked back down. "I do. I love you too, but… It's different."

"I understand." And she did. Ted was different for her, too. "What I don't understand is why you keep risking our marriage, then. If you want us to stay married, stay together, and still see Zoey, we can do that."

"Who are you sleeping with, since you're so calm about this?" Sam seemed more sure of himself, but Charlotte still wasn't scared.

She shrugged. "One of my coworkers. His name is Ted, I don't think you've met him." She looked straight at Sam. "It's not important. I'll keep seeing Ted and you'll keep seeing Zoey, but let's not bring them home, alright?"

"So you're telling me that you're mad about me cheating despite doing the exact same thing?" Sam stood up, which usually meant he was about to genuinely threaten her. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I'm your wife." She was getting scared now, but she remained seated. "I've brought Ted home exactly once, and I knew you were out of town, and I did not fuck him in our bed, I slept in the spare room, because I do have some respect for our marriage. And I did not do it on our wedding anniversary, the one day you might choose to come home early as a surprise. I'm not mad about you cheating, I'm mad about you bringing another woman into our bed."

Sam stared at her. "You've cheated on me?"

"Yes, I have." Charlotte wanted to stand up, to put the table between herself and Sam, but she stayed where she was. "I told you already."

"You fucked another man? How long?"

"Not long." She thought about it. "Not long at all. Nowhere near as long as you've been sleeping with Zoey, certainly."

"Aha." Sam walked towards her. "And you expect me to just be okay with another man having been inside my wife?"

"If you expect me to be okay about my husband being inside another woman, then yes." Charlotte wasn't looking at him.

"Dammit Charlotte!" Sam grabbed her arm and threw her across the room. He was strong, and she hadn't expected it; she hit the floor at an angle, pain flaring up. "I want you to be upset! Care about our marriage, will you?" He was yelling.

"I do care." Charlotte sat up, wincing. "I love you, Sam, but I love Ted, too. You're different. If you feel the same way about Zoey, you understand."

All of Sam's anger seemed momentarily gone. "Can we fix this?"

"I don't know." Charlotte got to her feet. "Right now, I'm leaving. I landed badly, I suspect my finger might be broken." She inspected her left hand, the one she'd landed on; at least one finger was crooked, and two others hurt and were turning blue. "I'm gonna go to the ER. Please don't come with me. I bought cake, feel free to eat it. Spend our anniversary alone, maybe you'll know how I felt the past two years."

"Charlotte." The threatening undertone was back in his voice as he moved forward. "At least let me drive you there. You shouldn't be driving with a broken finger."

"I'll be fine." She went to put her shoes and coat on, wincing as she pulled the coat over her injured arm, but managing to smile at Sam nonetheless. "I'll be back at some point. Maybe in the morning, maybe on Monday. I'll let you know when I decide." She opened the door. "If you're gonna have sex in my bed, please change the sheets before I come home. Now the damage is done, I suppose there's no point being mad about it." She slammed the door shut without waiting for Sam's reply.

He didn't follow her, so she called Ted's work phone once she was in the car. "CCRP Technical, this is Ted speaking."

"It's Charlotte." It was only then that she noticed that she was crying again. Still. She wasn't sure. "I uhh, something happened, and I'm headed to the ER, but could I maybe come to your place after? I told Sam I'd be home either in the morning or on Monday, so I have a bit of time."

"I'm coming to the ER." She could hear Ted moving. "Fuck it, where are you, I'll pick you up."

"I'm at home, well, I'm sitting in the car. It's fine, I'm fine to drive, a broken finger at the most, I just want to get it checked out for good measure. I'll just come to yours afterwards."

"No, fuck that. Stay where you are, I'm on my way."

"Okay Ted." She hung up and waited.

It took fifteen minutes for Ted to arrive. She'd gotten out of the car by then to have a smoke, and was waiting for him there.

"What's up?" He walked over to her immediately. "What happened?"

"It's a long story, and this kind of hurts." She tossed the butt on the ground and stepped on it. "Let's go, we'll talk once I get this checked out."

"Okay, sure." Ted led the way to his car. "What are you gonna tell the ER staff?"

"That I fell and landed wrong. It's technically true, no reason to mention that the fall was just my husband throwing me across the room."

"Charlotte…" Ted reached out and put a hand on her knee. "I know you love him, but throwing you across a room seems extreme."

"I was antagonising him." She shrugged and put her good hand over Ted's. "It's what happens. I'll tell you later, right now I don't really feel like it."

"Sure." He looked at her quickly and smiled. "Anything."

The ER didn’t take as long as Charlotte had feared, so they were back at Ted’s in a few hours. Ted had been hovering over her in the ER and was still hovering over her when they came back. It made her smile a little; he almost seemed more bothered about her injury than she was.

They had coffee and sat on the couch. “Okay,” Ted said then. “Now what happened?”   
“Ted…” Charlotte took his hand. “I’ll tell you what happened, but can I ask that we don’t talk about it?”   
“Sure.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. “That’s fine. I’m just worried.”   
“I know, and it’s nice.” She pulled herself closer to him so that she could kiss him. “I went home early, brought cake… It’s mine and Sam’s 13th anniversary today, and he had the day off, so I figured I’d surprise him. I thought he was asleep ‘cause he wasn’t in the living room, but then I heard them. Him and Zoey — she’s 21, by the way, and I know he’s been seeing her for over a year — in the bedroom. I uhh, I decided not to cause a scene while Zoey was there, but I did sit so that she couldn’t leave without seeing me. I think… I think Sam was ashamed of himself, I told him to go say goodbye to her, and he did, but I don’t think he liked it. So we talked for a bit, and I… I basically told him that if he really had to bring her home, at least use the spare bedroom, but come on, unless she’s married too, he should go to her place. It’s why we’re almost always here.”   
“Well, that and the bed is more comfortable.” Ted smiled a little and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, freeing her hand to reach for her coffee.

“That’s ‘cause I don’t let you sleep in Sam’s bed.” She elbowed him in the side. “Basically exactly what I told Sam. We talked a little. He kept apologising for cheating on me, but that’s not really what I was mad about. It’s just, on our anniversary, in our own bed, that’s too much. I did get him to admit that he loves her, and he said he loves me too, but it’s different… I get that. I think he caught on, because he asked who I was sleeping with, then, since I wasn’t mad, so I told him about you. He uhh, I think he wanted me to be mad about Zoey. He got mad about you. That’s when he threw me; I was sitting, so he could grab me easy enough. He drew back after that, he usually does; he gets violent and realises he’s crossed a line. He asked if we could fix this, and I told him I don’t know. Then I left.” She sighed and leaned into Ted, letting him hold her upright. “He wanted to drive me to the ER, but I told him I’d be fine. I said some things… Not good things.”   
“I’m sure he deserved them.” Ted kissed her hair. “Sounds like you’ve had quite the day.” His voice was neutral, but there was more warmth to it than when he was normally angry, so it didn’t bother her.

“Probably.” She sighed. “I should probably call him.”   
“Right now?”

“No.” Charlotte downed half her coffee. “No, right now I think I want to forget he even exists and watch reality TV with you.”   
“We can do that.” Ted reached for the remote. “What do you wanna watch? Real Housewives is on, and so is American Idol.”

She laughed and let him decide, and they curled up on the couch together, watching TV and almost but not quite napping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: posting this from backstage at a show because I forgot to do it earlier, I need to be on stage within the next few minutes


	11. What We Call A Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early today so I don't end up doing this backstage again yay

She texted Sam later that night to say she’d be home Monday after work; as much as she wanted to fix her marriage, she decided that she could take the weekend for herself, which meant with Ted. They managed not to fight, but they cooked together and laughed and had too much sex and watched shitty TV. It was a good weekend; Charlotte couldn’t recall when she’d last laughed that much in a weekend, but she kept the observation to herself and cherished the laughter instead.

They were in bed Sunday evening when she finally brought it up. “Ted?”   
“Hmm?” He was half asleep already, it seemed, but he opened his eyes to look at her. “What’s up?”   
“I just… I’ve had a good weekend, with you, it’s been good.” She smiled. “I… I might not be opposed to it happening again.”   
“Hmm, well, I rarely have plans.” Ted smiled. “At least not any I can’t cancel for you.”

“That’s not entirely what I meant.” She kissed him to buy herself time. “I’ve been thinking… With Sam… I still want to try to fix things, I do love him, but I think this is going to be his last chance. Going to counselling. And I think… I hope… If he screws this one up, I hope I’ll leave him. And I’m telling you this because if I don’t tell someone, I don’t think I will.”

Ted nodded slightly, looking a little more awake. “I hope you will.” He kissed her. “Would you… If you’re going to counselling, if you’re trying to fix things, would you stop coming here?”

“Not immediately.” She sighed. “I think, I don’t know, I don’t think Sam would give up Zoey if I asked, just try to keep it secret, so I’m gonna ask to just… Keep doing this. It’s not cheating if I tell him and he accepts it, is it?”   
“No, I think that’s called an open relationship.” Ted chuckled and kissed her again. “Are you gonna be able to keep that up?”   
“I am.” She kissed him. “I love you, I don’t wanna leave you. He loves her too. I don’t know about Sam… I think he wanted me to be jealous about Zoey so that he had an excuse to be jealous about you, but… If we talk it out, maybe he could get used to it.”   
Ted sighed and kissed her again. “Charlotte…” Another kiss, longer this time. “I don’t know how to say this.”   
“Just say it.” She put a hand on his cheek. “We’ll take it from there.”   
“Did it ever occur to you… That Sam’s not the only one who could get jealous?” He wasn’t meeting her eyes, and that, more than anything, told her he was sincere.

“Oh Ted.” She smiled. “I love you, you know that.”   
“That’s not what I meant.” He was still studiously looking at her collarbone or so, rather than meeting her eyes. “I just mean, it’s not really fun to have the person you love say she loves you and still go off be married to someone else. I know you love him or whatever, and I know you guys have been married for 13 years and that change is difficult, but come on… I’ll take what I can get, and if that’s being a part time boyfriend that’s fine, but I think you should know that I want more.”

“Ted.” She brushed a thumb softly over his cheek. “Ted, look at me.” He glanced up at her, but didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Any relationship is compromise. If we need to find a better one, tell me, but… I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me.”   
“I know.” He looked up at her. “I just… I know I come second, and that’s fine, I think marriage means putting your spouse first, but it still kinda sucks.” He smiled, but it looked fragile. Fragile wasn’t a good look on him.

“I love you.” She hadn’t expected how much she’d hate seeing him vulnerable. Those had always been her favourite moments with Sam, but with Ted, vulnerable meant upset. “And… You’re not second. You haven’t been for a long time.” She sighed. “What’s the selfish choice, for you?”   
“What do you mean?” He met her eyes then. “Your choice or mine?”   
“Mine. What would make you happiest?” She held his eyes, knowing the answer.

“You leaving Sam.” He didn’t even hesitate. “Specifically you leaving Sam for me. But you knew that.”   
“Yeah, but…” She sighed. “I want you to be happy. I love you. I just need time.”   
“Time for what, Charlotte?” He sighed, and his expression shuttered. “Time to decide? You can have it. Whatever. Just… Let me know what I can expect, alright?”

“I think…” She sighed. “I think I have decided, I think I just need time to come to terms with that decision on my own.” She kissed him. “I think you’ll like the decision, though.”   
He smiled, still fragile, but a little less sad. “I hope so.” He kissed her, holding it. “But you know, for now, one small request: This isn’t quite what I’d call a relationship, so can we maybe, for a moment, stop pretending that it is? I want you to be happy, but I’m tired of playing at being your boyfriend just to be put second every damn time. Let’s call it what it is; an affair. Once you’ve come to terms with what you need, we can reevaluate, but this is getting tired.”   
“Alright Ted.” She sighed. “If it makes you happy.”   
“It makes me better.” He kissed her. “To change the topic completely, you have no business looking this fucking hot when it’s past midnight and I have work in the morning.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. “What do you want me to do about that.”   
She laughed, because he was dumb and charming, and because she knew he was deflecting and she was willing to let him. She didn’t answer, just kissed him and made sure to stay aware of her broken finger and not get hurt.

Ted drove her home after work Monday afternoon. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”   
“No, thank you.” She kissed him and got out of the car. “I’ll be fine. I’ll call you later, alright?”   
“Alright.”

She closed the car door and watched him drive off. Sam wasn’t home, so she tidied up a little, started a load of laundry. He’d changed the bedsheets, she noticed, which she could appreciate; at least he’d tried. Not quite as much as she’d hoped; the spare room was as pristine as she’d left it, which meant either Zoey hadn’t been there since Friday, or he’d let her in their bed again. She decided to believe the former, but she didn’t have high hopes.

Sam came home on time, which surprised her a little. She went to the hall to greet him. “Hey baby.”   
He smiled. “Hi Charlotte.” He went to kiss her. “How was your weekend.”   
“It was good. Well, the broken finger kind of sucks, but other than that, it was good.” She took his hand. “How was yours?”   
“Alright.” He wasn’t meeting her eyes. “Where were you?”

“Ted’s. Did you see Zoey anymore?” She wasn’t gonna let him off the hook that easily, she decided; he deserved to squirm.

“Yeah, she was here most of Saturday.” He looked at her now. “We need to talk.”   
“We do.” She nodded. “Let’s go sit down.” She went to the kitchen and sat down at the small table they used when it was just the two of them. “We need to find a marriage counsellor.”   
“Do we?” Sam sat across from her. “We can fix this, Charlotte, we’ve been married for 13 years, this is just another bump in the road. I’ll stop seeing Zoey and you’ll stop seeing and Ted and we’ll fix this.”   
Charlotte shook her head. “Ted and Zoey aren’t the problem. Actually I think they might be half the solution. The problem is us, Sam. I’ve tried to fix us for years, but you won’t listen. I don’t know why you would now. So you have two choices; either we find a marriage counsellor, or we find a divorce lawyer.” She took a deep breath and reached over to take his hand. “I love you, I don’t wanna leave you. But look at this.” She held up her other hand, the two middle fingers taped together, blue and purple bruises up the back of her hand and disappearing under the sleeve of her sweater. “This is… This is bad. This is a broken bone, and it’s your doing. You understand that, right?” Sam nodded, so she continued. “I could go to the police with this. How do you think they’d think of you at work if they knew you’d been beating your wife?”   
“I haven’t been  _ beating _ —”   
“Yes, you have.” Charlotte took a deep breath. “Sam, I don’t bruise easy, you know that.” She pulled her sweater over her head. “Look at this. How do you think I got to look like this?”

“I know.” He was staring at his hands. “I’m sorry.”   
“I know, and I forgive you.” She sighed. “But only for what’s there now, okay? I won’t forgive you next time.”   
“What am I supposed to do?” He’d raised his voice, but he wasn’t moving, so she wasn’t scared yet.

She sighed. “Don’t let there be a next time. You’re a policeman, Sam, I assume you know how not to commit a crime.”   
“My biggest crime is buying alcohol for underage college kids.” He looked up at her. “I don’t have to put up with this.”   
“No, you don’t.” She nodded. “Tell me to leave, I will.”   
“I don’t want you to leave.” He squeezed her hand. “I want us to be happy.”   
“Me too.” She smiled. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna call a marriage counsellor. We’re gonna be honest about things. I don’t…” She sighed. “I don’t wanna walk out on you, but I don’t wanna walk out on Ted either, and I wouldn’t ask you to walk out on Zoey. So for now, let’s just keep them. Does that work for you?”

“Sure.” He looked at her. “Why though? I mean, what’s the point of us being married if we’re just seeing other people anyway?”

Charlotte shrugged. “I love you. I love Ted. You’ve told me you love Zoey. You told me you love me. It’s a way we can have both. At least we can try.”   
Sam nodded, somewhat to her surprise. “Alright. We can try. I still don’t understand, but if that’s what it takes.”   
“I think it is.” She drew her hand back. “Would you actually stop seeing Zoey? Or would you just be more careful about me finding out?”   
“Would you actually stop seeing Ted?” he shot back, and Charlotte supposed that was a fair question.

“I’d try.” She shrugged. “I’ve tried before. Until you upset me or hit me again. He’s my best friend, too.” She smiled. “I’m gonna look for a marriage counsellor for us. For now, let’s just… Let’s just accept that this is the way it is and try not to fight.”   
“Okay.” Sam nodded. “I uhh, I promised Zoey I’d take her out for dinner soon. Guess there’s no reason to drive all the way past Clyvesdale now.”   
“No, not at all, I don’t mind.” Charlotte smiled. “I promised Ted we could have a real date at some point, so that’s fine.” She stood up. “I’m gonna go look at counsellors. I’ll make dinner in a bit, alright?”   
“Sure.” Sam was still staring at the table when she left, but at least he agreed.

Ted was already at his desk when she arrived at work the next day, so she stopped to chat. “Good morning.” She put a hand on his shoulder to make him aware of her presence.   
“Morning.” He smiled up at her. “What’s up?”   
“Just wanted to say hi.” She leaned down to kiss him, ignoring Paul staring at them. “Do you have plans after work?”   
“No, I don’t.” He looked slightly startled by the kiss, but his smile widened. “Do you have your car here?”

“Yeah, but I don’t plan on going home tonight, so we can drive together.” She smiled, still with a hand on his shoulder. “I should get to work.”   
“Probably.” His smile veered into a smirk, but he hadn’t quite recovered from the surprise.

Charlotte walked to her desk; she didn’t even have time to boot up her PC before Bill walked over. “Charlotte, aren’t you married?”

“Yes, I am.” She smiled at him. “Why?”   
“You know, it’s not very nice being cheated on.” He looked sour.

She sighed. “I’m aware. What are you talking about?” She knew his wife had cheated on him, but she didn’t know if he knew yet, so she wasn’t saying anything yet.

“Did my eyes deceive you, or did you just kiss Ted? Who is very much not your husband?”

“I did.” She turned back to her PC. “It’s none of your concern, Bill.”

“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t cheat on your husband.” He crossed his arms. “You know, Laura cheated on me, and now she wants a divorce!”   
“I’m sorry to hear that Bill.” Charlotte sent him a smile that she hoped was sympathetic. “But honestly? I’m not cheating on my husband, and even if I was, that would be none of your business. I’m sorry your wife is leaving you, though.”

He muttered, “thanks,” and left her alone, still shaking his head slightly.

She heard him and Paul gossiping about her in the breakroom later, but she told herself she didn’t care.

“How did things go with Sam?” Ted asked once they were in the car. “I’m guessing okay, since you kissed me in the office.”   
“Yeah, sorry about that.” She laughed. “I just figured… I know you don’t like to call it a relationship, but I figured it was nice to not have to pretend at work.”

“Sure.” He took his eyes off the road for a second to smile at her. “Is it time to reevaluate?”   
“I think so.” She sighed. “I don’t know. Sam and I are going to counselling, but… We’ve agreed that, for now at least, we’re still seeing other people. Well, you and Zoey specifically, I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone else, I don’t care. I told him I wasn’t prepared to walk out on you and… It wasn’t a fun talk, but he listened to me.”

“Right.” Ted’s smile had faded, and his knuckles were whitening on the steering wheel. “I still think… Well. I still don’t want to call this a relationship if you’re still with Sam. I know — I think — I guess that’s what you want, but I can’t do that. I’ll take what I can get, but I’d rather have an affair than a relationship if you’re married. Sorry.”   
“No, it’s fine.” She sighed. “What’s the difference anymore?”   
“No dates. I know I said I wanted that, but I changed my mind. I don’t wanna be your boyfriend, not like this. And just because people know, can we not have stunts like what happened in the office today? It was nice, but again, not your boyfriend. I’m not saying we have to sneak around again, and we can talk about meeting up and stuff, that’s fine, but you’re still married. Sam and I aren’t even, and I’m not kidding myself, we never will be. So I’m not gonna pretend like I have a chance here, alright?”

“You’re not even,” Charlotte agreed. She took a deep breath. “I love Sam. He’s my husband, we’ve been married for 13 years. But… If this doesn’t work out, and it’s because of you or Zoey, I’m not leaving you, I’m leaving Sam.”   
“Charlotte—”   
“No, hear me out.” She put a hand on his knee, her injured one. “I love you. Even if Sam learns to control his anger, even if he stops drinking, even if he stops bringing Zoey home, if there is a problem after that, if I really can’t have both, I’m choosing you.”   
“You can’t have both.” They’d reached his building now, and he killed the engine. “I’m sorry, I know you want to, but you really can’t. If you know your choice, why not choose now?” He was still clutching the steering wheel too tightly.

“I don’t know.” She moved her hand from his knee to rest on top of his. “I think I still need to get used to it. And I… I feel like I owe Sam to try.”   
“Come on, he hasn’t tried.” Ted looked at her now, but none of his tension disappeared. “You’ve done nothing but try for years. He doesn’t deserve half the chances you’ve given him.”   
“I thought you didn’t wanna talk about Sam.”   
“I don’t.” He sighed. “I’m mostly tempted to take you home, I don’t… I don’t wanna fight, I don’t wanna talk about Sam, I don’t… The only thing I want to do with you, as long as you’re staying with him, then I’d rather just fuck and pretend that’s all it is.”   
“Okay.” She smiled. “I love you.”   
“Stop saying that.” Ted got out of the car and slammed the door.

Charlotte took a moment to breathe, then got out and followed him. “Ted?”   
“Yeah?” He sounded perfectly pleasant, but she knew him well enough to recognise when he’d shuttered out his own emotions.

“Why don’t you want me to say that I love you?” She reached for his hand, but while he let her slide her fingers between his, he didn’t close his own around hers.

He stopped walking, still a few feet from the door. “Because I love you too, but apparently I’m not enough for you, so what’s the point?” He dug his keys out of his pocket and handed them to her. “Go ahead. I’ll be up in a second. Actually, do you have any cigarettes?”

“Sure.” She wanted to tell him a lot of things, but she knew it was better to wait. She found her cigarette pack and lighter and handed him both. “I’ll make coffee.”   
“Sure.” He managed a smile at that that didn’t look strained, which made her feel better. “See you in a bit.”

“See you.” She let herself into the building and went to his apartment. She started the coffee machine and sat down to wait for it.

That’s when the tears started. She hadn’t really thought about how close she was to crying during the entire conversation with Ted until it suddenly happened. She took out her phone and called Sam.

“Charlotte? Hi, what’s up?”   
“Um, I have… There’s something…” She sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s a bad time for you, probably. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”   
“It’s fine, I’m just at Zoey’s place. She’s at work still, I have time.” Sam sounded bored more than concerned, which made her feel slightly better about what she was about to say.

“So… I think… I think it’s better if we just split up now.” She sniffled. “Why delay the inevitable?”   
“It’s not inevitable.” Sam still didn’t sound invested. “We can still fix this.”

“Can we?” She sighed. “I mean… I guess, but… Sam, sweetheart, you’ve promised me to change so many times.” She heard the door; Ted coming back. “Every time you’ve hit me, since the first time, you’ve promised that you’ll never do it again.” Ted came into the kitchen; he glanced at her, on the phone, and went to pour their coffees. “Sam, I love you, but the more I think about it… If you’re gonna listen to a shrink instead of me, then I don’t think this is going to work. You know what you do is illegal, when you hurt me, you’ve worked domestic abuse cases. Just… I’ll see you tomorrow, but just think about it, okay?”   
“Okay. See you tomorrow.” He hung up.

Charlotte looked up at Ted and smiled. “Hi, sorry.”

“It’s alright.” He sat down next to her and handed her coffee. “Sam?”   
“Yeah. I told him that I think it’s easier if we just split up immediately.” She sighed. “I don’t want to, but… You’re right.”   
“I’m happy to know that.” He kept his voice neutral, but he reached out to hold her hand. “I hope it wasn’t for my sake.”   
“Partly.” She smiled at him. “I know you said not to say it, but I love you, I want you to be happy. Sam will be fine without me. I thought you would too, but… Not nearly as fine.”   
He smiled then, a real smile. “Good to know that I mean something to you.” His voice was still bitter, but the smile remained, and he kissed her. “I was starting to worry.”   
“Don’t.” She let go of his hand to cradle his face. “You were the one who said not to talk, so let’s not talk.”

“Sure.” He kissed her again. “Coffee can wait, come on.” He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

She both hated and loved when he did that, but that day, she didn’t mind much.


	12. What We Call A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this made me smile like an idiot while editing

She should get up and make them dinner, it was almost 5pm, but Ted had pulled her close and mumbled something and then promptly fallen asleep, and she couldn't bear to wake him. It felt like lifetimes since she'd seen him like this, asleep and smiling, even though she knew it had only been a few days.

She kissed him softly, and he smiled, but didn't wake. "I love you," she whispered. "I… I'm gonna leave Sam for you, I am, I promise. I just need to work up the courage to tell him that." She kissed him again. "And you. I don't know why I'm scared to tell you, but I am." She sighed and looked at him for a bit; she loved him, always, but this Ted, asleep and yet so unwilling to let her go, this Ted pulled at her heartstrings more than any other. "I think… Maybe it's because I have to ask to stay here. I would love to get my own place, but Sam has always paid far more than half our rent, and I really don't make much money. I know I could find someplace, but… I want to stay here. With you. I want this every day, not just when I have time. I want to have time… I want to  _ make  _ time for you. A real relationship, not just an affair. This hasn't been just an affair for me for a long time." She carefully reached to put a hand on his cheek, which seemed to make him stir a little. "I love you."

"I love you too." He still sounded half asleep as he pulled her closer. "Did you say anything?"

"No." She sighed, mostly at herself. "Yes."

"Well, which is it?" He opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Can't be both."

"I did say something." She kissed him. "I said that I love you, and that… That I am gonna leave Sam for you. Not right away, but it's just, I'm scared to tell him. I'm scared of what will happen."

Ted put a hand up to cradle her face. "I love you. I'm here for you, you know that." He kissed her. "I think, despite my best efforts… I think this is what we call a relationship. So…" He laughed. "God, I feel like a high school kid. Charlotte." He broke himself off with another laugh. "Nope, can't do it."

She laughed at him too. With him. "I can." She smiled. "I'm not going to, but I can."

He laughed again. "Dammit Charlotte." He kissed her again. She liked this Ted, laughing and affectionate, and she thought her decision was worth it. "Are you gonna make me do this?"

"Yes." She kissed him. "Not necessarily right now, but definitely after the divorce."

"God, okay." He laughed, then took a deep breath to stop himself. "Charlotte… Will you… God no." He laughed. "Not gonna do it. Nope. Not happening." He kissed her. "Not happening."

"Oh well." She smiled. "I'll go make dinner."

"No, wait for me, I'll help." He pulled her closer. "Come on, if we're gonna do this whole relationship thing, you're gonna have to get used to you not getting to everything in this house." He kissed the top of her head. "Just give me a second, alright?"

"Alright Ted." She let the silence hang for a moment. "I'm getting up."

Ted groaned in protest, but he let her get up. He was halfway out of bed by the time she'd gotten dressed. "No more of this sex before dinner, I'm too fucking tired now."

"We'll see how long that lasts." She went to kiss him. "I'll go get started. Take your time."

"Yeah." He smiled at her, and she went to make them dinner.

Charlotte hadn’t expected how much Ted would loosen up around her after she’d promised to leave Sam, but he really did. He’d always been flirtatious and cute, but she hadn’t realised how much of it had seemed like trying to sleep with her until that veneer was gone. Like this, he actually acted like her boyfriend, and she enjoyed it.

It only sharpened the contrast when she came home the next day after work and saw Sam already there, sitting at the table in the living room. “Hi.” She forced a smile. “I thought you’d be at work.”   
“I thought you’d be out,” he shot back. He wasn’t smiling. “You’re always out these days.”

“I’m home now.” She sat across from him. “We need to talk.”   
“Yeah.” He drummed a tattoo on the table. “You push for a counsellor for ages, then suddenly you want a divorce instead. What happened?”

She sighed. “I just thought more about things. I… I love you, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. You’re not a good husband, Sam.”   
“Excuse me?” He stood up.

“This is why.” Charlotte stood up as well. “You threaten and you hit. You… You don’t take responsibility. Sam, I love you, and I wish we could fix this but… I’m tired of giving you second chances.”   
“I don’t want a divorce.” Sam sat down abruptly. “I don’t care what you say, you’re my wife, dammit, you promised. Marriage is forever. You’re  _ my _ wife, and I’ll make damn sure that doesn’t change.”   
“How?” Charlotte sat back down. “I can take you to court for the divorce. And even if we don’t get divorced… I don’t have to stay here. I can leave. Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper, Sam, it’s a commitment, a relationship, and I… I’m not willing to commit to it anymore.” She did her best to stifle a sob. “I wish I was, I wish we could fix this, but it’s too much, I can’t do it.”   
“It’s his fault isn’t it?” Sam looked at his hands. “The boy you’re seeing. What’s he done that I haven’t?”   
“It’s not about him.” She knew he could tell she was lying. “He’s never hit me, never acted aggressive, never threatened. He asks me things. He loves me.”   
“I love you.” Sam looked up at her now; there was anger in his expression, but there was sadness, too. “I’ve loved you for longer.”

“I know.” Charlotte forced another smile. “You just don’t always act like it.” She pulled her sweater off. “Sam… This isn’t what love looks like. Sam, look at me.” She kept her voice gentle, but it was the first time in a long time she’d made a genuine demand of him. She waited until he looked at her. “Do your colleagues know that you’ve hit me? Do they know about Zoey? Do they know how old she is? About you getting her alcohol when she was underage?”   
“They know about Zoey.” He shook his head. “She was an intern with us when she was 19, that’s how we met. They know her, they knew we were sleeping together even back then. No one ever said anything. They know.”   
“Do they know about this?” Charlotte gestured to her own arms. “Do you even think they’d care?”

“Wright knows.” Sam looked directly at her now, steadily. “He doesn’t care. I told him a few years ago, after the first time. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. I knew that it wasn’t ideal, and I thought, Wright has been my mentor and my captain for years, he’ll know what to do, and he laughed. I told him that I’d hit you, and he laughed and said, ‘Good on ya, son,’ and that was that. I think everyone knows at this point, we’ve talked about it since. It’s not a big deal.”   
Charlotte stood up; she was fully crying now. “It’s good to know I can’t trust the police.” She walked into the bedroom.

Sam followed her. “Charlotte, I love you, I— I’ll do anything, just please tell me what I can do to make you stay.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Come on, Charlotte, baby, apple of my eye, my wife, my love—”   
“Stop it.” She didn’t free herself from him, even though she felt like she should. Instead she put her hands on his hips, letting him hug her. “Have you ever hit Zoey?”   
“Yeah.” He kissed her; it felt wrong, somehow. “She… She didn’t talk to me for a week. It sucked, but I get it. It wasn’t fun. But she came back to me. It wasn’t our first fight, it wasn’t our last. She always comes back.”

For whatever reason, Charlotte remembered Ted, walking out of his own apartment after a fight, promising to be back two days later. “So did I.” She stepped away from him, then. “Not anymore.” She found her suitcase under the bed and opened it. “This time I’m not coming back, and if I am, it’s to collect the last of my things.” She began folding her clothes into her suitcase. “Maybe you’ll learn not to hit Zoey anymore, in case she also chooses never to come back, but I think I’ll tell her there’s no reason.” She kept packing while Sam watched her, silently. “Oh, one more thing.” She took off her wedding ring. “You can keep this. I don’t need it anymore.” She handed it to him.

He didn’t take it. “Keep it. It was meant to remind you of your promise; let it remind you of what you broke.” He turned and walked out of the bedroom. “Keep it! Keep it all!” he yelled.

Charlotte shrugged and threw the ring into the small jewellery box she had, which then went into the suitcase. She was still crying as she packed up her things, but at least she’d made a decision, now, and she was going to stick with it. She hoped.

She walked into the living room to find Sam when she was done. “I’m leaving,” she said. “Goodbye. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but… I just wish you were.”   
Sam didn’t acknowledge her; she stood for a few moments, then turned and left.

Once the suitcase was in the car, she lit a cigarette. She didn’t really have a place to go, but she called Ted anyway. “Hey, is everything okay?” He sounded instantly worried.

“Yeah, I think so.” Her voice was still choked by tears, but at least she sounded steady enough. “I just… I’ve left. Packed my things, said goodbye to Sam. I don’t know what’s gonna happen now, but I’m not gonna live with him again. I just don’t know what to do now, where to go.”

“I’m on my way home now, you can come here.” He definitely sounded relieved. “At least for the moment. We can figure it out.”   
“Thanks Ted.” She smiled to herself; she’d know he’d say that, it was why she’d called him first. “I’ll just finish this smoke, then I’ll come. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you.”   
“See you.” He laughed a bit, then hung up.

It did feel bitter to her that he wouldn’t say he loved her, but she knew. That was just a thing she’d have to get used to; Sam said he loved her when he had nothing else to say, Ted would rather say anything else. Another change. Not worse, just different.

Ted was waiting for her in the parking lot when she pulled up. He pulled her into a hug immediately. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” She relaxed into his embrace. “Yeah, it’s just… It’s a lot.” She took a deep breath; shaky, still trying not to cry. “It’s been so many years.”

“I know.” He kissed her head. “You’ve got your things? Let’s get everything up, alright, we’ll… We’ll deal with it then.”

“Alright.” She let him carry her suitcase up the stairs; she wanted to protest, but then again, he was stronger. And it was nice of him.

“There we go.” He pushed the suitcase into the bedroom. “We’ll look at that later, I don’t have a lot of space, but we’ll find something.”   
“Thanks Ted.” She smiled. “I mean, I don’t have to stay here if— If you don’t want to, I can find somewhere else, it’s just for now, I mean, I wasn’t asking—”   
“Charlotte.” He smiled. “Later. Right now, I think you deserve a drink, and I know I need one.”   
“Yeah.” She smiled. “Wait, hold on a second;  _ you _ need a drink? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you.” He kissed her. “What do you want? I’ve got wine, both red and white, vodka, scotch but only the nice one, so no mixing that, I think I might have a few beers…”

“Wine sounds good.” She squeezed his hand. “I think I deserve red wine.”   
“Agreed.” He squeezed her hand back. “Go take a seat, I’ll be right there.”   
“Sure.” Charlotte went to the living room and sat on the couch, pulling her legs up under her.

Ted came in a minute later with two glasses and a bottle of wine. “Here.” He poured a glass and handed it to her, then poured another for himself. “So. What happened?”

“We talked.” She sipped the wine. “I told him I wanted a divorce. He didn’t. Doesn’t. Whatever. He um… Well… I can’t go to the police. I was considering it, but… They already know. Sam told me he’d told his colleagues. No one cares.”   
“What the actual fuck.” Ted emptied his glass in one, then poured another. “That’s fucked up.”   
“Yeah.” Charlotte shook her head. “I don’t know. I asked him if he’s ever hit Zoey. Apparently he has. He’s been seeing her since she was 19. I want to tell her to run, but… If he’s hit her and she’s still coming back, I guess it’s too late. She already knows.”   
“Yeah.” Ted reached out to hold her hand. “He’s a bad guy, Charlotte.”   
“He has problems,” she admitted. “I still love him, I just… I’m tired of trying. We only work, our marriage only works when one of us tries, and I’m tired of always being the one putting in the effort. I don’t have to try with you, it just happens. At least it feels like it.” She smiled. “He’s not trying anymore, so why should I? I don’t think he agreed.”   
“No, of course not.” Ted emptied his second glass of wine and poured another. “Go ahead and take wine when you want, there’s another bottle.”

“Sure.” She smiled. “To change the subject, how come you’re this much in need of a drink? What’s happened in the two hours since I saw you?”

“It’s nothing.” He downed the third glass and looked at the bottle for a few seconds. “I just… Okay, I’m drunk enough for this, I think.” He pulled his legs up and turned to face her, taking both her hands, careful with the broken finger. “I…” He wasn’t meeting her eyes. “I love you. And I’m a terrible person who can’t say that normally, but I figured, the day you’ve had, you deserved to hear it, so now I’m drunk enough. I love you.”   
She chuckled. “Oh Ted.” She let go of his hand to cradle his face. “I love you too. But you don’t have to get drunk just to tell me, I know. I told you already, I’ll know. It’s fine.”   
He met her eyes then. “It wasn’t the only reason, I could probably manage, but I think I promised to ask you something yesterday, didn’t I?” He kissed her. “Charlotte…” He laughed.

“It’s alright.” She laughed too. “The answer’s yes.”   
“You can’t answer a question I haven’t asked, okay, I’m gonna try.” He took a deep breath. “Charlotte, will you be my girlfriend?” It came out quickly, jumbled, in a rush of breath, and it didn’t quite sound like a question, but he was flushed — with alcohol or embarrassment, she couldn’t tell — and looked inordinately pleased with himself.

She smiled. “Yes.” She laughed. “Of course.” She leaned forward to kiss him.

“Good, ‘cause I think I might actually have walked out if you’d said no.” He was murmuring now, not pulling away from the kiss, but instead pulling her in to sit on his lap. “I might even have died.”   
She rolled her eyes, but kept kissing him. And yeah, there were still tears on her face from earlier, and yeah he was tipsy and being cute about it, and yeah the empty space on her left hand felt weirdly empty, and yeah she hated having sex on the couch, but this was Ted, her boyfriend, who was gently holding her face with one hand while removing her clothes, who whispered stupid little compliments and declarations of love in between kisses, Ted who admittedly had to be drunk to be this open, but whose words she never doubted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other fun fact: I was listening to "When Love Arrives" by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye while writing this and you can tell


	13. What We Call Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter! I'm.... Sorry

Driving to work with Ted wasn’t a new occurrence, but normally they were careful about being seen. That was gone now; Ted held her hand as they walked through the parking lot, kissed her in the elevator, smiled at her from three cubicles away whenever their eyes met. Bill was studiously ignoring them, but she saw Paul walk up to Ted’s desk, and they were clearly talking about her. She just smiled; it didn’t matter.

Melissa came over to her desk after lunch. “So… Ted told me you’re getting a divorce?”   
“That’s the plan.” Charlotte nodded. It wasn’t really that set yet, but it made sense. “I’ve moved out, more or less.”   
“Living with Ted?” Melissa raised an eyebrow. “Come on, Charlotte, you can do better than that. If you’re just looking for a place to crash—”

“I’m not.” She smiled. “I’m looking for a place to live, but Ted’s place will do fine for now.” She turned back to her work, but Melissa was still hovering. “What makes you say I can do better?”   
“I just mean, I hooked up with Ted last year, he’s… I don’t blame you, but he’s not really a relationship type guy, you know?” Melissa was studiously looking at her nails. “I mean, that might be because I told him I was a lesbian, but you know.”   
“God, Melissa, I’ve been seeing him for two months, I know.” Charlotte laughed. “I know, he’s terrible.”   
“I can hear you,” Ted shouted from his desk.

Charlotte ignored him. “He’s terrible in a lot of ways. But he’s my boyfriend and he’s been nice to me, and I love him. And honestly, from my husband, anything is an upgrade.”

“Alright.” Melissa looked at Charlotte, then looked over at Ted for a moment, then back to Charlotte. “I’m just saying, I think he’ll dump you in a month.”   
Ted, who had been making his way over, put a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder and smiled at Melissa. “Okay, I know I did you dirty, but no reason to make me look bad in front of her.”   
“Whatever.” Melissa rolled her eyes at him and walked away.

“Sorry about that.” Ted leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I… Wasn’t as nice to her as I could’ve been, probably.”   
“It’s alright.” Charlotte put her hand over his. “I know what you’re like. I’ve gotta get back to work, okay?”   
“Alright. Hey, I’m headed out for coffee, want anything?” He dropped his hand.

“No, I’m alright.” She smiled. “You know, Ted, it wouldn’t hurt you to apologise every once in a while.”   
“Hmm, I’m not so sure.” He kissed her. “See you later.”   
“See you.” She shook her head at him and went back to work. It really wasn’t surprising that he’d hooked up with Melissa, but it still bothered her a little bit. Not enough to say anything; last year meant before she and Ted had started anything, and she knew, even in that time, she hadn’t been the only one. It was just something she’d have to get used to, she decided, opening her emails. It wasn’t like he’d been the only one for her, either.

Charlotte managed to ignore Sam’s existence until the weekend. Almost. She did cry about him once, but by then it was late at night, and Ted had pulled her close and kissed her hair and told her that it was alright, and it had passed quickly enough. It was nothing; Ted had commented on her missing wedding ring, and she’d gotten emotional, nothing else.

Saturday afternoon, however, ignoring Sam stopped abruptly, when the doorbell to Ted’s apartment rang. Ted shrugged and went to open.

Charlotte had been about to go see who it was, but the voice made her freeze. Sam’s voice. “Where is she?”   
“I’m sorry, officer, I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Ted would sound calm to an outsider, she was sure, but she knew him well enough to hear him straining.

“My wife! Where is she?” Sam was yelling now, and Charlotte heard a loud thud, followed by Ted cursing. “I want to see my wife.”   
Another loud thud, then Ted’s voice, notably colder. “I’m sorry officer, I know my rights, I cannot let you in without a warrant. If you’d tell me the name of who you’re looking for, perhaps I can tell you where she is, but if not, I’d like you to leave.”   
“Fuck, you know exactly who I’m talking about!” The sound of flesh hitting flesh got Charlotte moving. She got far enough to see Sam in the doorway, and Ted on the ground, holding his jaw. “Where is she?”

“I’m right here.” Charlotte ran up to them. “What do you want, Sam?” She knelt down next to Ted. “Are you okay?”   
“I’m fine.” He sat up. “You weren’t kidding when you said he was strong, huh.” He looked up at Sam. “Get out, I’m calling the police.”

“I am the police.” Sam stepped forward. “What do you think they’re gonna do?” He grabbed Charlotte’s arm. “Come on, we’re going home.”   
“I…” Charlotte looked at Ted; there was blood at the corner of his mouth and a bruise already forming on his cheek and jaw.  _ I’m sorry, _ she mouthed. “Okay Sam, I’ll just get my things, okay, wait a minute.” She went off to the bedroom.   
“Charlotte.” Ted got to his feet and went after her. “Charlotte, you don’t have to go with him. I mean it, I’ll call the police, this is illegal.” He took her hand. “You can’t go with him, you know that.”

“Oh Ted.” She smiled. “I know, but… I’ll be fine, I always am. Sam and I, we— We figure things out.” She gave him a hug. “I don’t want him to hurt you,” she whispered. “Just give me a day.”

“Okay,” Ted whispered back, drawing away. “Alright Charlotte, whatever you think is best. Just… Take care, alright?”

“I will.” She went to get her things.

Sam was still in the doorway when she came back out. Ted was leaned against the wall, staring at him. “So you’ve finally seen sense.” Sam looked at her. “Don’t know what you ever saw in this kid.”   
“Hey, I’m 27, isn’t your girlfriend like, barely legal?” Ted shook his head. “I don’t like this, Charlotte, this guy doesn’t deserve you.”   
“That’s not your call to make, Ted.” She gave Sam her suitcase. “I’ll just say goodbye, just go to the car.”   
“Nope. I’m watching this.” Sam took the suitcase and leaned against the doorframe. “Go ahead. Since you’d rather kiss him than me.”   
“Sam…” She sighed and looked at Ted. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out. I’ll see you at work Monday, alright?”

“Yeah, alright.” Ted shook his head. “Hey, um, Charlotte? I love you. Just… Remember that.”   
“I will.” She smiled. “Goodbye Ted.”   
“Goodbye.” He didn’t move.

Charlotte turned and followed Sam down the stairs. He’d brought a squad car, and wouldn’t let her take her own car. He said he would come pick it up later. She wasn’t about to argue with him just then, so she just got in and went home with him.


	14. What We Call A Solution

Waking up in her own bed next to Sam Sunday morning was an odd experience. It had been normal for so many years by then, at first she didn’t realise why it would be weird. Then the events of last night came back to her, and she was gripped with fear.

Sam was still asleep, so she snuck off to the bathroom, locked the door, and turned on the shower. Then she called Ted.

He picked up on the first ring. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She breathed a sigh of relief on hearing his voice. “He didn’t touch me, barely said anything after we left. He’s still asleep, I’m pretending to be in the shower, I— I’m scared, Ted.”   
“I know.” He sighed. “I went to the hospital last night after you guys left, I was still bleeding. I wasn’t gonna lie to them, and they told me to call the police. I’m… I won’t say I’m fine, but nothing time and Aspirin can’t fix, but I am gonna call the police, you understand that, right?”

“I know.” She took a breath, trying not to cry. “I just… What are they gonna do? They all know.”   
“Look, what if they don’t? What if Sam lied to you? What if they know about Zoey, but not all the other stuff. We have to try, Charlotte, he knows where we live. He’s dangerous. I have to try.” He sighed. “You’re… God, I can’t even be cheesy on the phone, Charlotte, I love you.”   
“I love you too, Ted, just… I know. But it’s Sam, I— I don’t want anything to happen to him, I still love him, I know he hurt you, I know I shouldn’t but… I do.” She sighed. “I want to leave him, but not for me. For you. Because I know you won’t stay with me if I don’t. But please understand that I can’t do this.”   
“I’m sorry, Charlotte.” Ted sighed. “I love you. I’ll do what needs to be done.”

“Please, just… Wait until I’ve talked to him. I can make him understand, I know I can.”

“Fine.” There was a thud on the other side of the phone, as though Ted had punched a wall. “You have an hour. If I haven’t heard back from you in an hour, I’m calling the police.”   
“Thank you Ted.”   
“Yeah. I’ll see you later.” He hung up without another word.

He was wrong. Sam had done bad things, but he wasn’t a bad person, and he didn’t deserve what was coming to him. She typed out a text that she didn’t send and went to wake Sam up.

“Hey Charlotte.”   
“Hey Sam. We need to talk.” She sat on the bed. “What happened last night?”

He sat up. “I went and got you from that boy’s house. Charlotte, you belong with me. You’re my wife, I love you.”   
“I love you too Sam, but I made my choice. You need to respect that. What you did to Ted yesterday… He had to go to the hospital.”   
“I’m sorry.” Sam hung his head. “Tell him I’ll pay the hospital bill. Look, Charlotte, he’s keeping us apart, you must see that. He’s bad for you. For  _ us _ .”   
“No, Sam, he—” She sighed. “I love him. I want to be with him. I’m choosing him. Sam, you’ve hurt me, you’ve— You’ve hit me, time and time again. I can’t keep making excuses for you. Ted wanted to call the police, and I told him not to, that I’d talk to you, but he will. If I don’t come back today, he will. If you show up again, he will. Sam, I love you, I don’t want you to go to jail, just please, let me do this.”

“So it’s a crime to want my wife back now?” He got out of bed. “For nineteen  _ fucking _ years, I’ve done everything for you. Haven’t I provided for you? You know, you’d be living over in that dump of a trailer park if it wasn’t for me. You’ve got no money, you’ve got no education, you’ve got nothing. You’ve got me. And I was gonna look the other way about you screwing that skinny nerd, but oh no, that’s not enough for you. Am I ever gonna be enough for you Charlotte?” He was yelling by the end, breathing deeply.

“Sam…” She looked at her hands, folded in her lap. “I would’ve gone to college if it weren’t for you. I was accepted to the University of Utah, did you know? I was gonna go study education. Become a teacher. But then you proposed to me, and I decided not to move. And what happened? Four years of pushing off the wedding because  _ you _ wanted to be done with the police academy first. And I waited for you.” She got up, but the bed between herself and Sam. Took her phone. “I waited for you to be ready to get married, even though you’d asked me. I waited for you to have money for our honeymoon because you refused to let my parents pay for it, even though they offered.” Sam had moved closer to her as she spoke; she pressed send on her phone. “I gave you more than half my life. You spent over a year sneaking around with some college girl, buying her booze, and I stayed with you, and I stayed true. You beat me for more than three years, and for more than three years, I let it pass, because I love you. I didn’t start seeing Ted until this January. It’s been two months, and he’s already done far more for me than you have in 19 years.” She took a shaky breath and dropped to the floor, all her strength and righteous anger gone. Instead, she was scared. “Sam, I love you, I— I’m sorry I said all those things, I don’t—”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He went to sit next to her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know about the university, I didn’t know that the whole thing with the honeymoon bothered you that much. I’m sorry.” He put an arm around her. “We can fix this, yeah? We talked about counselling, let’s… Let’s give it a go. This is the kind of thing we can talk about.”   
“No, Sam, it isn’t.” She freed herself. “I don’t want to fix this. I— I don’t know that there’s anything  _ to _ fix.” She stood up.

Sam looked like he was about to protest, but he was interrupted by the doorbell. “I’ll get that, we can keep talking.”   
Charlotte sat on the bed and looked at her phone. The text she’d sent — to Ted,  _ call the police _ — was still open on the screen, as was his reply.

_ Called the moment I hung up on you. _

That’s when she registered the voice carrying from the hallway. “Sam Harrison, you’re under arrest for assault and battery, as well as domestic violence. Please follow me.”

Charlotte walked into the hall. A cop was there, a woman, putting Sam in handcuffs. “Charlotte?” Sam looked at her. “Charlotte baby, I don’t know what’s going on, please help me, tell them I haven’t done anything, I—” He looked over his shoulder at the cop. “Helen, come on, you know me, I would never—”   
“Shut up, Sam.” The woman, Helen, pulled him out. She looked at Charlotte. “Charlotte Harrison?”

“Uh… Yeah.” She nodded. “That’s… Yeah.”   
“We’ll be in touch about the court case. Can we find you at this address?”   
“No, um… Here.” Charlotte grabbed a pen and paper from the small table in the hall and wrote her contact details. “This is where you can get a hold of me. Um. Thank you.”

“Of course. And Charlotte?” Helen had passed Sam on to another cop waiting in the stairwell, who was now leading him out. “This is breaking protocol, but I’ve known Sam for a long time, and I’ve always suspected he was a bad sort, so… As an apology for not doing anything sooner, if you need anything, just call the precinct and ask for me, alright?”   
“Yeah. Thanks Helen.” She nodded. “Um, actually. Could I maybe get a ride? Sam didn’t let me get my own car last night, so there’s only his squad car here, and well… I have somewhere to be.”   
“Sure. Do you know where Sam has the keys? We’d have to go pick up that car anyway.” Helen smiled. “I’m glad we’re finally doing something about him.”   
“Me too.” Charlotte grabbed Sam’s car keys, also on the hallway table, and handed them to Helen. “I’ll come back for my things later, right now I just need to get out of here.”

“I understand.” Helen took the keys. “Come on then. Where to?”   
Charlotte gave her Ted’s address and texted him in the car.  _ Sam’s arrested. I’m coming to yours. _

_ Sure you don’t want me to pick you up? _

_ It’s alright, I got a ride. _ She put her phone away and sighed. “Um, Helen, can I ask… Sam said he’d told Wright about hitting me, that everyone knew. Is that true?”   
“No.” Helen shook her head. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Wright knew, the guy’s a pig, but the rest of us, no. We knew he was cheating on you — sorry if you didn’t know — and we all know Zoey… She’s a good kid.”   
“Yeah, I know.” Charlotte sighed. “He told me he’s hit her too. I hope she learns from this. He also told me he’s bought booze for her before.”   
“Yeah, doesn’t surprise me.” Helen sighed. “Unfortunately most of our captains are corrupt, so there’s not a lot we can do. We try but… A call like this, I’m surprised I even got an arrest warrant, but I’m happy I did. Working Sundays is worth it when we get to do stuff like this.” She pulled up in front of Ted’s building. “Here we are. You call me if there’s ever anything you need, okay?”   
“Okay. Thank you again.”   
“Anytime.”

Charlotte got out of the car, and Helen drove off.

Ted was waiting for her at the main entrance. “Didn’t think the cops gave rides to victims,” he said, looking at Helen speeding away. “Are you alright?”   
“Yeah.” Charlotte gave him a hug. “I… You were right. Sam was lying. I asked Helen about it in the car. She said… They all knew he was cheating on me, but few of them knew about him hitting me. She didn’t. She was more mad about it than I am.”

“I’m just glad you got out of there.” He wrapped both arms around her and kissed her head. “I’m sorry I called immediately but… I was scared you’d just stay with him.”   
“I considered it,” she admitted. “I don’t know… I don’t like it, but…”   
“It doesn’t matter now.” He pulled back to look at her. “Come on. You’ve had a hard day and it’s not 11 yet. Let’s go up, we’ll make you some coffee, we can relax, talk…” He winked at her.

She kissed him before he could finish his sentence. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done! Whew!


End file.
